


A promise to define love

by hanjihyun



Series: Borrowed child [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Baby Peter Parker, Domestic Avengers, Hurt Peter Parker, Kid Peter Parker, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Pre-Iron Man 1, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sick Peter, Sick Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2020-09-06 20:55:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanjihyun/pseuds/hanjihyun
Summary: 5 times Peter gave Tony a heart attack and one time he made it stop altogether.--Where Peter is Tony's biological child and the kid just can't get enough of scaring his father.





	1. Define love

Tony Stark never really knew the true definition of love.

Anthony Edward Stark was a child who never grew up in the presence of love. His childhood was the worst to say the least. He didn't see his parents often--sometimes they were out of the country, sometimes working, sometimes he just doesn't really know. And if ever his father was home, the older Stark would always shout at him whenever he did something bad, or sometimes, when he did something good--there's no gray area between getting scolded or being shouted on.

Anthony Edward Stark was a child who found love. He found it in his mother--the sunlight that peeked through his darkness, the sunlight who warmed him from the coldness that he felt. Maria Stark was the sunlight who sang to him whenever she tucked him to bed, who kissed his cheeks whenever he cried, who hugged him tight whenever he was scared, who loved him unconditionally even with just a little amount of time spent together. But small amounts of time with Maria Stark won't fill the gaping wound from the kid's chest--he didn't only need an occasional sunlight, Tony needed it constantly but the woman wasn't able to give all of her love fully.

Tony found it in his butler Jarvis--the water that sustained him, the water who made him grow, the water who made him strong. Edwin Jarvis was the water that acted as Tony's father, the person who cared for him when he's hurt or afraid, the person who made him feel safe, the person who gave him attention that his parents failed to do and well, the person who loved him like a father would a son. Jarvis was the only person who was a constant in Tony's life, the only person who stayed, the only person who never left, but eventually he also disappeared, left, died.

Anthony Edward Stark was a child whose definition of love was lacking. The kid never knew that love is patient and kind. Because growing up, his father wasn't really patient and kind to him--Howard shouted at him for being too slow while eating, scolded him for being slow to process things, locked him in his room for accidentally ruining the vase in their house. Tony never knew that love does not envy, does not boast and is not proud. Tony never knew that love does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, not easily angered because no one really showed him that, in fact, he grew up with the things opposite to those. His father was always thinking about himself--what he wants, what he needs, what he likes. Howard never asked Tony what the kid wanted, or what he needed, never asked him what he liked. Howard was always angry with Tony--there were no days that the man wouldn't scold the kid, no days that the man wouldn't scream at Tony, no days that the man showed that he also loves his son.

Anthony Edward Stark was a man who yearned love. He searched for love in parties--loud, blinding parties that always sends him home drunk and high. It was a feeling that made him forget the gnawing black hole in his chest. It was the feeling of being in the clouds, lost in his own dreams that managed to fill the void in his heart at least momentarily. He searched for love in many hours of inventing in his workshop--making something, tinkering something, fixing something. Allowing the man to forget the truth, to forget the very reason why he even invents, the truth that he, himself, was not fixable, unmade, broken. He searched for love in girls--numerous relationships, one night stands, flings which he never considered serious or even important. The nights spent in luxurious hotel rooms to let him feel something rather than the gaping hole in his heart. The little moments of happiness he felt when he wasn't alone. The dawns spent having sex with girls just so he would have a small excuse not to sleep.

Anthony Edward Stark was a man who never learned to love. No matter how much he tries, no matter how many days he spent in vain to find love, he will never find it. Tony Stark will never learn how to love, or even feel it.

Anthony Edward Stark was a man who needed love, the man who need to see what love really is, feel how love really feels.  
  
  


Anthony Edward Stark is now a man who found love.

Anthony Edward Stark found love in the name of Mary Fitzpatrick. A geneticist whom he met in one of the parties that he threw. The woman was beautiful--brown, straight locks that reached past her shoulders, her eyes dark brown mirroring Tony's, tall, petite nose that Tony loved to bop and luscious, red lips that the man loved to kiss. And apparently, the woman wasn't all face, she was brains too. Mary also attended MIT in her college days, she graduated bachelors degree in Biology when she was just twenty years old and then got her Master's degree when she was just 24 years old. And Tony loved everything about her.

Tony loved her.

Tony loved the woman so much to the point that he asked Mary to move with him in Malibu and well, of course the woman agreed. They lived in that beautiful house for months, spending mornings together, looking at each other's eyes before they sleep, swam in their swimming pool and basically, loved each other like there was no other people in the world.

Tony was euphoric, elated to finally find and feel the love that he has been finding, searching for, craving. And even though he wasn't really religious, he prayed every night to God to not let this happiness be taken away from him. He wanted Mary to stay forever, for this glee to stay in his heart for the test of time.

_"God, if you're real, thank You. Thank You for giving me the best angel from the heavens. Thank you for Mary's life... thank you for the happiness. And God, please, please do not take her away. Don't take my happiness away." Tony prayed as he stared at the woman in front of her, sleeping peacefully._

He prayed night and day, repeated the words in his heart and somehow, it seemed like someone was really listening to him... someone was hearing him.

Mary stayed, for days, months, years and when time flew by like the wind, he knew that Mary was the one. He knew that he already found the woman for her.

Tony adored Mary so much that he asked her to marry him. He got her a beautiful diamond ring that he made customized from Russia and asked the woman to be his wife in a private cruise ship in the middle of the North Pacific Ocean. And in just two years of relationship, they were engaged.

_"Mary, will you marry me?" Tony asked, kneeling in front of the woman he loved, holding out the ring that he put his heart into._

_Mary was ecstatic, happiness blossoming in her chest and tears brimming in her eyes, "Yes Tony, yes!" she exclaimed happily as Tony stood up, encasing the woman in a tight hug._

_"Thank you... thank you Mary," he managed to let out, small tears of happiness brimming in his eyes too. "If you rejected me, I would've made you pay for this ring," the man joked, earning him a hearty laugh from Mary._

After half year of planning, organizing and booking everything for their wedding day, the day finally came--May 17th, 1999. Tony can still remember it vividly--the way the sun was glaring upon them, the sweet caress of the north sea breeze, the beautiful scene of blue skies and ocean, the distant sound of the birds flying freely in the air and the exhilarated happiness that he was feeling in his heart.

_"Tony," Mary started, a small smile making its way on the face of the woman, "I take you to be my husband... and I promise to respect and support you, to be kind and to be patient with you." the woman muttered, feeling the happiness in her heart as she vowed to love the man in front of her forever, "I will love you through the good and the bad, through joy and sorrow. I will love you everyday, every second of my life, every minute, every hour of it." Tony choked, a beautiful smile plastered in his face as he continued listening to the woman that _ _he loves, "Now we will feel no rain, for each of us will be a shelter for the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of us will be a companion to the other." Tony nods, holding Mary's hands tightly, "There is only one life before us, and our seasons will be good and long. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, no matter what lies before us, for as long as we both shall live."_

Tony and Mary's wedding day was one of the best days the man ever had. It was one of the days where everything just seemed right, like nothing could go wrong. And well, actually, everything happened wonderfully that day--the wedding, the reception, and hell, the honeymoon.

Everything was _perfect_. Everything was going great for Tony's life and he was just happy.

For months, Mary and Tony lived in the honeymoon stage--loving, caring, making love with each other and it was just... magical.

Everything was doing great, everything was just marvelous... just how it should be. Everyone was happy, living gratefully and having a great moment in their life... until the day came when their life was changed to be the _greatest_.

_"Tony... I'm, I'm pregnant," Mary mumbled, her hands shaking with the three pregnancy test that she took just so she could guarantee that all the symptoms that she was feeling for the past few days were really something._

_She was shocked, her mouth agape as she stared at the man in front of her._

_And Tony, gosh, Tony was as shocked as Mary could be. He was astounded, in shock as he stares at the pregnancy tests in Mary's hands and back to her face. His mouth agape, his eyes wide, his heart beating fast. And he don't know... don't know what he was feeling but one thing's for sure, his heart was beating fast... like hella fast! It seems like he was having an attack--a heart attack to be precise._

_"Tony, are you okay?" Mary managed to ask, sweeping the shock on her face as she quickly went closer to her husband, cupping the man's cheeks. "Tony, sweetheart, are you okay?" the woman asked again but all Tony could do was stare wide-eyed, his breath hitching as he feels the unfamiliar fast beat of his heart._

_"I'm... I'm having a heart attack, Mary," Tony whispered, his eyes looking straight back at the woman of his life._

_Mary smiled fondly, chuckling a little as she pressed a kiss on Tony's lips, "You're not having a heart attack Tony," the woman assured, "You're just shocked, is all," Mary muttered as she took Tony's hands into hers and guided the man on to their couch, "Come on, why don't you sit down first?"_

_Tony followed, his eyes vacant as he tried processing things in his head--the shock, the surprise, the happiness? I guess._

_"Tony, can you hear me?" Mary asked, her voice soft and gentle as they finally reached the couch and sat there._

_"Mary," Tony whispered as he finally stared at the woman, "I'm... I'm going to be a father," he mumbled, the idea of it completely dawning on the man once he said it out loud._

_"Yeah, you are," Mary muttered, chuckling as she cupped the man's face._

_Tony stared back into Mary's eyes yet again, fear evident through his glassy eyes, "I'm... I'm going to be like Howard. I'm going to break our kid Mary... I can't, I can't do that." he rasped, hyperventilating._

_Mary's smile immediately faded, the situation sinking in her head and making her understand why Tony had been very surprised, scared even, "Tony," Mary muttered, her heart softening as she stared at the fearful eyes of her husband, "You're not Howard." the woman exclaimed with conviction, holding Tony's hands tightly, "You will not break our kid Tony... you'll, you'll be the best father our child will ever have."_

_Tony was lost. He was scared, he didn't know what to do but during those moments, all he wanted was Mary's hug so he pulled her on to his chest, burying his face on Mary's shoulder._

_"I'm scared," Tony whispered._

Tony was scared. He was petrified.

He wanted to run away, forget that this is even happening. Because he couldn't comprehend, couldn't comprehend that he's going to be a father now. He couldn't accept that there's a bundle of joy growing inside Mary, the love of his life.

But he was puzzled too because he should be happy, right? He should be happy that they'll be starting a family now. He should be happy because he have imagined it, dreamed of it--him, Mary and a kid, a child who brought the light in their life. But now that it is happening for real, why... why couldn't he be happy?

_Tony stared at Mary while the woman was sleeping. It was already past midnight but the man was wide awake like an owl, staring at his wife. The thoughts in his head was overwhelming that he couldn't even have a peace of mind and drift off to sleep. Because truth be damned, he was terrified... terrified of what would happen once the kid is brought into this world._

_What kind of father will he be?_

_What kind of life will he be able to give the kid?_

_What kind of childhood would he give the kid?_

_There were tons of questions in Tony's mind and he was really, really scared. He doesn't even know how he would take it, doesn't even know how to take care of Mary or even the kid._

_"Mary," Tony whispered, staring at the woman in front of him, "I don't know if I can do this... I'm... I'm incompetent for this," he whispers, "I can't do this," _ _Tony continued to stare at Mary, basking in the woman's beautiful face, "I don't know if I can do it but... I'll, I'll try... for you," Tony inched closer towards Mary and planted a peppery kiss on top of the woman's forehead, "I'll be the best husband and I'll try to be at least a decent father, that's all I could promise to you."_

Tony was scared but for once in his life, he didn't care. He didn't care if he was scared, didn't care if he feels incompetent for the job, didn't care if he wasn't ready yet because he can't afford to feel those anymore. He needed to straighten up because someone was depending on him now. Someone--a kid, a child who needs him--someone needs him to man up and take the responsibility.

So he did.

He got rid of his worries, got rid of his negative thoughts because he pledged, promised to give this kid the best life he could ever have.

He will love the child.

He will care for the child.

He will listen to what his child wants.

He will always be there.

He will be his child's constant in this world.

He will give the child the _world_.

He will give _everything_.

He will give everything to his child--everything that he didn't have.

The love, the care, the ears, the time.

He will give all of him to the child.

He will show his child what love is.

He will show his child what love feels like.

He will define love for the child.

He will love _his _child.

_Love_. One thing he couldn't afford when he was young, one thing he couldn't find when he was a teenager, one thing he struggled to feel when he was an adult. A luxury that Tony didn't have when he was a child and when he was growing up. A luxury that even though he was a billionaire, has lots of money and resources, he still couldn't afford.

And now, the same man is pledging, promising that he will define love to his child, to his baby.

He will do everything in his power.   


_"My child, I promise to you that I will show you, make you feel the things I wasn't able to feel. I will show you how great it is to be loved. I will make you feel how much happiness there is in love. I will show you patience and kindness. I will love you kid, forever."_


	2. Heartbeat

Two weeks.

It has already been two whole weeks since Tony found out that Mary, his wife is pregnant.

The man was scared to say the least. He has been having numerous nightmares about Howard for the past few days. His night terrors were not only composed of the bad treatment he received from his father but his nightmares also consisted of him, acting like Howard towards his own kid. He dreamed about the kid hating him just like how he hated his father for years. And maybe, you couldn't blame the genius for being overly distant from Mary for the past few days.

For the past few days, Tony decided to lock himself down in his workshop. He worked, invented, fixed things till dawn. He never went out the room to eat, to take a bath or even to check on his wife. And somehow, he felt bad--he felt awful because he badly misses Mary and somehow, at the tiny corner of his heart, he misses the unborn child that Mary was carrying too.

He wasn't intending for this pregnancy to hinder whatever relationship him and Mary have but it was just so hard for the older Stark to wrap the idea in his head that he was going to be a father in less than nine months. He couldn't wrap the idea of him taking care of a baby, a child, a kid because he felt unqualified for the job--he feels like he doesn't even deserve it at all.

Because growing up, an idea was embedded in Tony's mind that Stark men didn't make wonderful things, but instead, they destroy them.

Stark men are destroyers, not makers and certainly not makers of blameless and marvelous things. They make guns, bombs, weapons for destruction and all those kind of stuff. So now, to actually learn that Tony had made something other than a tool to destroy or something that causes destruction was hard--it was tremendously hard to comprehend.

He doesn't know how he would figure this out because the man didn't really have a great role model to copy upon, or even a father figure right now that could help him navigate in this uncharted waters of being a father. So how? How can he even do this?

He doesn't know.

He was lost.

So can you blame him for being scared? Can you blame Tony Stark for being afraid now that he's starting a family of his own? The man who never really felt that having a family was good, the best? Can you blame Tony for not wanting to incorporate his life towards the child that he is so afraid to hurt?

Yes, Tony was scared--tremendously afraid but that gnawing fear wasn't even enough to cover the budding feeling that was starting to spread in his chest. Because even though Tony haven't seen the child yet, or even hear the child's heartbeat, he already loves the kid. The genius loves the child so much, he is willing to distance himself just so he wouldn't mess up the kid's life.

He was willing to sacrifice his urge to love the child just so he could protect it from _himself_.

"Sir, Madame is requesting to enter the workshop," JARVIS informed the man, cutting Tony's inner turmoil and making him go back to the land of the living.

"Is Mary okay?" Tony asked, always so mindful of his wife's welfare as he continued to work on the car that he has been working on since he woke up from his two hour sleep this morning.

The car wasn't really broken, the man was just searching for some things to do and well, breaking apart a million dollar car was what took his interest. He pondered that it was better to disassemble his car than doing nothing at all.

"Madame appears to be fine but--" JARVIS was cut off when a woman's voice replaced it.

"JARVIS, I can take it from here," Mary muttered, walking inside the workshop like she owned the place, her heels clacking on the cold, tiled floor.

The moment Tony heard Mary's voice, the billionaire somehow regretted giving an override code to his wife. And the genius made a mental note to block the override code on the door of the workshop--he needed privacy, especially now.

"As you wish, Madame," the AI answered back politely.

The woman paid no heed on the AI as her attention was solely on the man in front of her, "Tony," Mary called as the woman went closer towards the billionaire who wasn't paying any attention to the woman.

"If this is about dinner, I already ate." Tony muttered as he stood up to grab a wrench from the table.

Tony knew that there was a reason why his wife barged in the workshop but he wasn't just ready for any scolding right now. He didn't need constant reminders of the things that he was purposely disregarding.

"I know, I have been monitoring you." Mary answers back as she stares at her husband who was paying no heed to her.

Tony sighs as he got the wrench and went back on fixing the car, "Then if this is about my sleep schedule, you probably know that this isn't my worst record." the man mutters, trying hard to conceal his true feelings by saying sarcastic things--to his wife, no less.

"Two hours of sleep isn't too bad for your record." Mary answers back, somehow playing along with the sarcastic remarks that her husband was spewing, "At least you're still sleeping, so I'll take that as a good sign since you're actually known for not sleeping, like ever."

"See," Tony mutters, "I'm doing good so I don't know why you overrode my 'Do not disturb' protocol."

It was Mary's turn to sigh when she noticed that her bite backs at Tony's sarcastic remarks aren't doing anything, "You're doing good but I'm not," Mary finally exclaims--not sugarcoating her words, "This has been going on for weeks now Tony," Mary muttered as the woman crosses her arms on top of her chest, "I thought that giving you space will make this better. For days I let you be. For days I ate by myself in this massive mansion. For days I have been living alone even though you are here!" the woman exclaimed, completely angry at how Tony was dealing with their situation right now. "You're shutting me out, Tones. You wake up early enough just so I wouldn't see you. You sleep so late until I'm already knocked out cold on our bed. I haven't seen you for two weeks Tony! Two weeks and now you ask me why I override your code?!"

Tony sighs as he finally looked towards his wife--his wife who has been patient with him for as long as they started dating. And now, Mary just snapped and Tony felt horrible. The genius felt bad because he knew that this was all his fault--his problem, his issues.

This wasn't Mary's problem at all--this was all him. This was all the strongholds that he have been hoarding since he was a kid. This was all the pain and problems he swept under the rug until it became so big that it was now eating him.

And the genius was guilt-ridden for passing all his problems to his pregnant wife and even to the unborn child that knows nothing.

Tony felt dreadful because he knows that he's not the only one affected by all the issues that he was keeping hidden in his heart. And all the ignoring and avoiding bullshit that he pulled off from the past few weeks were probably not helping right now--not him, nor his wife. Instead, his actions was taking a toll in their relationship, much more to his pregnant wife's well-being.

"Mary," Tony called, his voice soft and remorseful.

"Don't _Mary _me, Tony." the woman seethed, "Do you even know anything that has been happening these past few days?!" Mary shouted, her chest heaving by the sheer amount of anger that she was feeling, "Do you even know the morning sickness I have been dealing with alone for the past few days?! The cravings I badly want to have but can't because I can't go out without being bombarded by the press?! How about the headaches that have been shitting me every night while I wait for you?! Do you know any of those?!" Mary asked, "No! You don't, because you have been fucking ignoring me--avoiding me! You don't know shit because you chose to be that way!" the woman shouted and now, Mary was crying, tears falling down her cheeks as she told her husband everything that has been bothering her. And Tony just wanted to hug the woman--his wife and apologize for all the things that he has done. "I feel so alone Tony! I feel so alone in this and I feel like you don't even like the baby that I am carrying."

The last words struck Tony like a bullet and the words hurt like a bitch. Because _fuck_, as much as he hates Howard, as much as the fear was biting at his ass, Tony knew one thing--one thing, one truth--that he, Tony Stark, loves the baby. Tony loves the baby that was living inside his wife's body. Tony loves the baby that's not even born in this cruel world.

Tony _loves _his baby.

The man was silent, he didn't have any sarcastic remarks to offer anymore. The man doesn't have any feasible excuses that he could come up with because the words that Mary said hurt him--badly hurt.

"Tell me Tony!" Mary exclaimed, "Tell me if you want this baby. Tell me if you're ready because if you're not, I'll always support you, okay?" the woman asked as she knelt down and cupped the man's cheeks, seeing the teary eyes of her husband, "If you're still not ready to be a father, we could always talk about it, Tony. I... I can, we can abort it."

There was a beat and it was as if someone had poured a freezing, cold bucket of water on top of Tony because those things wasn't supposed to be even thought of. Abortion?! Mary was thinking to abort the kid? And what? Kill the child who doesn't even know anything? Kill an innocent baby who has done nothing?

Kill _his _baby?

No.

That wasn't going to happen.

_Not my little baby. _Tony thought, an overwhelming feeling to protect the child enveloped the man like some sort of a blanket and he was so ready to do anything just to keep the little baby safe.

"No." Tony managed to say, his words were firm, sure, certain--he didn't even stutter.

Because Tony has been doubting his every move, every decision that he ever made in his life. But right now, he didn't even need to second guess his decision. Because no, there was no where in hell the billionaire would have let his baby die--much less be killed by its very own parents. No, he will not let anyone harm his kid. He was sure of it.

"What?" Mary asked, not quite catching what Tony just whispered.

"We're... we're not going to abort that child, Mary!" Tony exclaimed, almost furious.

Mary's tears continued to flow as she stares back into the eyes of her husband, "Then be the baby's father, Tony!" Mary exclaimed back, "If we're not going to abort it, at least show me that you like it to live."

Tony was dumbfounded, surprised that Mary would even think that he would kill his own child--his own blood and flesh. Because even though Tony was a selfish man, a man who had no regard for other's life but his own, Tony would never hurt his kid--would never kill his own child.

"I like the child to live Mary! I like the child to see the world. I want the child to live!" Tony exclaimed as he stood up, completely baffled, "I love that kid, Mary... I... I'm... I... I'm just afraid, okay?" Tony finally said as he looked back towards Mary, defeated, "I'm afraid to screw that child's life! I'm scared that I might become like Howard, Mary." Tony sighed, shaking his head, "I'm just... I, I'm scared and that's it but I... I love that child, Mary. My blood is coursing in that baby so you can't tell me that I don't like the kid. I'm... I... I'm sorry for being a coward, Mary... I'm--"

"Tony, look at me," Mary mutters, as the woman held both of Tony's hands, "You are not a coward. And I'm... I'm sorry for even thinking about that you would want it to--hell," Mary sighs, not wanting to even finish her words and now, she certainly regretted even thinking about aborting the baby, much less saying that to her husband, "I'm sorry, it's just... I want you to come to terms with this in your own time so I thought that if you're still not ready... I... I would just support you." the woman mumbles as she stared at Tony's doe-like eyes that was now filled with unshed tears, "But Tony, you clearly want the baby so I don't understand why... why you're distancing yourself."

"I...." Tony started as he looked down, guilty of how he had been acting for the past few days. And the man couldn't even blame Mary on why the woman would even think that he didn't like the child that she was carrying, because fuck, Tony certainly acted like it--he acted like he didn't want any part of it, "I'm... I... I don't want to be like Howard," Tony finally confessed, the fear that has been crippling him for days was finally out on the cold, "I... I'm afraid to mess our baby's life, Mary. I'm... I'm not qualified for this. I'm a fucking destroyer, Mary... I'm not a father."

"Tony, sweetheart," Mary called as she places her soft hands on top of Tony's cheeks, "You are not Howard. You will never be him because you're better than him, Tony." Mary muttered, "You will be a great father and you are more than qualified to be one, I am sure of it--I believe it."

Tony sighs, a tear finally cascading down his cheeks as he heard a very comforting praise from his wife, because never in his life would he have thought that he would be called a _great father._ Never in his life that he thought that he would hear it and now, the woman who has been Tony's anchor just uttered it with utmost sincerity and love.

"Mary... I..."

Tony was at lost for words. He was speechless because somehow, at the back of his head, he wanted to believe Mary's words too. At the back of his head, he wanted to accept the compliment and be a responsible human being and start taking care of his family.

But he can't.

Tony was afraid.

Tony was apprehensive.

"Ssh, Tony," Mary whispered pulling the man into her arms as she hugged him tight, "You will be the best father this baby could ever have... You are not Howard Stark. You are Anthony Edward Stark--a Stark who knows what love is... a Stark who built good things. You're a Stark who made wonderful things, Tony. You're so far from your father... so far from him." And Tony couldn't help himself but to lean in and bury his face at the crook of his wife's neck.

Tony was supposed to be the one to comfort his wife but it was the other way around. But the man just accepted every love, every hug, every comforting words that was given to him because he needed it. He needed to fuel his self with positivity if he wanted to take this responsibility. He needed to fuel his self with love in order for him to give it to the kid that was still unborn. He needed to fuel his self with love and positivity that his father didn't seem to have.

"I'm just... really, really afraid. I--"

"I know darling," Mary smiles, "I know," she repeated, "But we're in this together. We will shower this baby with love, with kindness, with everything." Mary mumbles as the woman released the hug, staring straight towards Tony's eyes, "I'm with you, okay? We'll raise the baby together so there's no reason to be afraid, sweetheart. I'll _always _be here,"

\--

It has been two and a half weeks now since the confrontation back in the workshop and it has made the situation way, way better to say the least. Because for one, Tony stopped avoiding Mary and actually stayed with the woman to make sure that she was doing okay. Tony also took care of Mary as much as he can and then cutting off his work a little more early just so he could spend more time with his new found family.

Tony was trying his hard to be a responsible father to his baby and a responsible husband to his wife.

And it was hard since the man never really do responsibility, so everything was fairly new to him but somehow, with how good Tony was doing, it felt like the man was made for the job.

The billionaire took care of Mary in the best way he could. He woke up every time Mary was having her morning sickness. He would be beside Mary as the woman threw her guts up while the billionaire would rub his hands comfortingly on top of his wife's back. He would rush to the grocery whenever Mary was having her unusual cravings. Tony would always massage Mary's head when the woman was having a massive headache every night.

But one thing Tony was surprised about was how well he was doing his job as a responsible husband because never in a million years would Tony imagine that he would be cleaning a toilet full of his wife's barf or even imagine himself massaging a woman's temple because well, Tony wasn't the caring type. Tony was supposed to be the one to be cared _for_\--Rhodey, cleaning up his mess inside their dorm's bathroom, Pepper, cooking him hang over soup after a long ass drinking session the other night, Happy, buying him headache medicines so late at night. Tony was never the one who cared but now, it all changed.

Tony was now caring for somebody else other than his own self, and somehow, doing this shit felt like his second nature.

"What's up for our dinner?" Mary asked, her hands circled around Tony as the both of them watched movies that the man didn't have any say to, because well, it was Mary who picked it.

"Pasta," Tony answered back, searching the recipe on the book that he bought just this week.

Tony Stark was even cooking now, could you believe it? Well, it wasn't the best thing but well, it was good enough to be eaten.

"Hmm," Mary hummed, "How about Spaghetti with meatballs and then some ranch and ketchup dressing on the side?" the woman asked, her eyes sparkling in happiness as she envisions the food inside her head.

Tony snorted, completely ignoring Mary's idea because there was no way in hell that he would put ranch dressing and ketchup together in a spaghetti.

Chicken Fettuccine. That was their menu for the night and Tony wasn't open to any suggestions from his wife because he was sure that whatever it is, it will always have ranch dressing and ketchup. It was one of the weird cravings Mary has and Tony was utterly displeased.

"Doctor Brown called me this afternoon and told me that we could schedule an ultrasound next week. Are you up for that?" Tony asked, hopeful because truth be damned, the man was very much excited to see their baby for the very first time and well, hear its heartbeat.

Mary just nods, completely absorbed in the movie that she was watching, "Yeah, I'd love that," the woman answers back.

"I'll call her later to confirm," Tony muttered which earned him a simple hum from his wife.

"Ava," Mary blurted out of the blue.

Tony turned towards Mary and was surprised to see that the woman was already looking back at him, "What did you just say?" the man asked.

"Ava," Mary repeated, beaming happily at the man, "I... uhm, I'm thinking maybe we could name the baby Ava Lane? If... if she's a girl?" the woman asked, hopeful.

"Ava Lane?" Tony asked, a small smile creeping into his face, "That's cute," the man agreed, nodding, "But isn't it too early to be thinking about baby names?"

"It's never too early, Tony!" Mary muttered, "But whatever," the woman huffed, completely annoyed that Tony was still too far out to be thinking about baby names, "I will name her Ava Lane if ever she's a girl and... Anthony Junior if he's a boy!"

Tony almost choked in his own breath as he heard the last name, "Junior?! My gosh Mary, I never thought you're that kind of woman." the man muttered, chuckling.

"What?" Mary asked, her face crumpling when she found out that Tony wasn't liking any of the names that she was suggesting, "Your name is beautiful, Tony!"

"Yeah, but, I want to be the only Tony Stark so... I don't want the kid to have the same name." Tony muttered, chuckling, "But seriously Mary, I'm pretty sure you'll change names as the months roll by so I know that those names wouldn't stick to you."

Mary just huffs as she turned away from her husband, "I hate you," she mumbled but loud enough for Tony to hear.

The man just chuckles, knowing very well that it was the hormones talking and not really his wife, "Will you still hate me if I make you some PBNJ's?" Tony asked as he started to get up in order to go to their kitchen to make a phone call.

"If it has ranch dressing and ketchup, I won't," Mary answered back, her eyes not leaving the movie that she was watching.

Tony just chuckles as he shakes his head, "That's extortion Mary and you very well know that it is illegal." the man muttered as he finally went out of their room.

"You're sleeping on the couch if you don't put my dressings on my sandwich!" Mary shouted just as soon as Tony closed the door.

_That woman's going to drive me insane. _Tony thought with a small, genuine smile in his face.

\--

Mary was on the start of her second trimester and the woman was already showing a cute, little baby bump as the days passes. And well, Tony certainly loved it--the man was completely awestruck.

The couple was on their way right now to Doctor Brown for Mary's ultrasound and the two was very much excited since this would be their very first time to see their little Stark.

"Do you think you can handle seeing the baby?" Mary asks, her hand intertwined with Tony's.

Tony immediately smiles by just thinking about it, "Of course, I just think that I would be a complete crybaby once we see the little Stark." the man answers back genuinely.

"I would love to pay in order to see that," Happy muttered, his eyes glancing towards the rear-view mirror to see his boss' reaction.

"Oh shut up, Hogan. I'm pretty sure you'll react the same when you see your little boss." Tony shot back, smiling towards his long-time best friend.

Mary just chuckles as she leans closer to her husband, "Well, I think everyone's going to be celebrating once little Stark is born. Rhodey and Pepper will probably spoil our little kid rotten."

"Speaking of Pepper," Happy mutters, "When are you guys going to tell the press that you guys are expecting? Has Pepper planned for the PR yet?" the man asks which earned him a small sigh from Tony.

"Well, we'll share the good news to the world when Mary's getting better with all the pregnancy symptoms." Tony answered back as he pressed a peppery kiss on top of Mary's head, "The kid's giving Mary a pretty hard time with all those morning sickness and headaches."

"We should probably ask Doctor Brown about those too," Mary agreed, "The headaches are just getting worse every night and add the soreness too."

Tony sighed yet again as he places his calloused hand on top of Mary's baby bump, "Hey there little one, please go easy on your mommy, okay kid?" Tony asks, his hand rubbing the bump, "Your mom has been tired for the past few days so please, if you can, cooperate with her."

Mary just smiles as she places her hand on top of Tony's, "Our little Stark is doing its best, don't worry darling," the woman assured that left her husband smiling back as he nods.

Happy watched through the rear-view mirror and the man couldn't help but to smile too as the scene unfolded right his very eyes.

Happy has been Tony's body-guard and driver years after Jarvis died and he has grown to be one of the few people Tony trusts. And as the years pass by, the two had evolved into a much more than a boss-worker relationship, morphing into one of those of best friends'.

Happy has been there when Tony was nothing but a mess--he accompanied his boss in numerous parties, he protected the man from unnecessary fights brought by the influence of alcohol, he was there when Tony would throw his guts up, he was there when his boss would meet up with different girls. Happy has been there for Tony when the man was completely lost and now, to have the privilege to watch his boss grow up from being nothing but a mess to a responsible father and husband was such a blessing.

And Happy was just delighted that finally, his best friend was now someone--a man, a husband, a father.

"I'll call you when we're finished, okay?" Tony instructed and Happy just nods as he dropped the couple in front of the hospital's main entrance.

Tony and Mary arrived at Doctor Brown's office and thanks to Tony's name and connection, they were quickly accommodated as soon as they arrived. The man never really liked dropping his name just to gain convenience but he will gladly use that advantage if it means that he would be able to hear and see his child as soon as possible.

Tony quickly assisted his wife inside as they settled on the chair in front of the doctor.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stark, lovely to see you today," the doctor exclaimed happily.

Mary smiles as she shakes the hand offered to her, "Lovely to see you too Doctor," the woman greeted back.

"So I suppose that our first time parents are very much excited for the first ultrasound, isn't it?" the doctor asked, shaking the nerves off of the couple.

Mary just chuckles as she eyes Tony beside her, "Well, guess who wasn't able to sleep because of the jitters?" the woman asked, chuckling as she referred to her husband.

"Hey, I don't usually sleep so it was nothing out of the ordinary," Tony bite back, smiling.

"Well, I wasn't talking about you honey. No need to get defensive."

Doctor Brown just laughs at the both of them, "Well, I understand all the nerves and anxiety surrounding this pregnancy since this is your first time." the woman smiles, "So why don't we cut the chase and get on the ultrasound and then we'll do some check-ups on mommy here," the doctor offered which earned her kind smiles from both Tony and Mary.

The doctor and the nurses quickly situated Mary to the bed for her first ever ultrasound and the woman was very much excited and well, a little bit scared. Tony on the other hand was a mess of nerves and worries and as soon as Mary noticed her husband's scared face, she quickly smiles reassuringly towards him as she took his hand into hers.

"No need to be scared, darling," she whispers and all Tony could do was nod, smiling a little.

"This will not hurt at all, it's just cold," Doctor Brown smiles, comforting the two as she placed a cold liquid on top of Mary's baby bump. After the liquid was applied on Mary's bump, a machine was placed on top of it and images were displayed on the computer beside them, "Get ready to see your little Stark." the woman muttered, smiling fondly as the images started showing on the computer.

And there, as soon as the images cleared up, both Tony and Mary can see clearly the little bundle of joy that was living inside it's mommy's tummy.

"There's little Stark right there," Doctor Brown pointed out, "Right now, the baby is probably as big as a passion fruit and there, you can see the head, the body, the little arms and feet. And then..."

Tony stared at the picture before him as he drown out all the things that Doctor Brown was saying. Because as of now, he couldn't help but to be absorbed by the tiny, little thing in front of him. The baby looked wonderful and he couldn't help but to hold back his tears as he continued staring at the baby in front of him.

That was his baby.

He was the one who made that.

And somehow, Tony couldn't believe what he was seeing because the baby was so cute, so beautiful, so wonderful. The man took note of everything--the small little head, the body, the small, little feet and those really cute hand and fingers that he couldn't wait to hold.

His baby was wonderful.

He made something wonderful.

"The baby's beautiful," Mary muttered, tears streaming down her cheeks as she held tightly on Tony's hand.

"It's marvelous," the man barely whispered as he placed a small kiss on Mary's knuckles.

"Seeing the kid's development, I'm estimating that your due date would probably be during November, I guess, maybe by the end of October?" Doctor Brown offered, smiling, "For the gender, it is pretty much early to say so we will probably skip on that and wait till the 16th to 20th week of your pregnancy,"

"How about the heartbeat, doc?" Mary asks, "Will we be able to hear the heartbeat today?"

"Yes, of course," the doctor answered back enthusiastically.

The doctor quickly fixed some things and almost suddenly, they could hear the baby's heartbeat.

It was a small thump, a quiet thump, a delicate thump and the moment Tony and Mary heard it, they couldn't keep their tears any longer.

"The baby's got a pretty good and strong heartbeat," the doctor informed both of them, the big smile from her face never fading.  
  


Thump.  
  


Thump.  
  


Thump.  
  


Thump.  
  


"Can you hear those heartbeats?" Tony asked Mary as he places another kiss on top of Mary's forehead, "That's our little Stark right there," the man muttered, his heart bursting in glee as he continued listening to the melody of their little bundle's heartbeat.

The sound was one of the best things Tony had heard and he was utterly and completely happy just by hearing it. And somehow, throughout the listening and viewing session, Tony found his own heart mirroring his baby's heart beats.  
  


Thump.  
  


Thump.  
  


Thump.  
  


Thump.  
  


His heart was beating wildly, his heart thumping so loud against his ears that he could hear his own clearly. And even though his heart was too fast to be normal, he knew it wasn't something bad. This was something _good_.  
  


He was having a heart attack.  
  


A different kind--an attack to his heart because of how much he's happy right now. His heart was beating so hard because of the unadulterated glee in his chest that he can't manage to comprehend.  
  


He was having an abnormal heart attack in his heart because of the cute and marvelous thing in front of him.  
  


That is his baby.  
  


His child.  
  


His kid.  
  


Tony knew that he was having a heart attack but the man also knows that it was a _good one._  
  
  
  


"Hey kiddo, it's me, your daddy," he whispered, 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter has been meh but anyway. I hope you guys liked my update and if you do, comment down below what you think about the chapter and basically, just shower me with some love.
> 
> The birth of Peter is very much near so stay tuned for that!
> 
> Thank you guys again!
> 
> Lots of love ❤


	3. Beautiful boy

A month had passed since the first ultrasound and Mary is now on her 18th week of pregnancy. And during that month, Tony and Mary's relationship grew stronger than ever because now, their relationship doesn't only revolve around the two of them. But now, they have a little child on the way that will depend on them, look up on them.

"What do you think about the name Kate?" Mary asked, her eyes scanning the baby book that they bought from the bookstore last week.

"I like that name," Tony answered back while stirring the pot of chicken casserole that he was making for dinner. "Maybe we could include that in our choices."

"Yeah," Mary mumbled as she continued turning the page of the book, "I also like the name Lily."

Tony just smirks as he shook his head knowing that Mary will probably scratch all the names that she's taking notes right now just because she's not feeling it anymore after a couple of days, "Yeah, but I like Kate better." Tony answered back nevertheless, wanting to humor his wife.

"But if it's a boy, I like the name Anthony." Mary muttered, her hands closing the book as she placed it on top of the dining table, flashing her smile towards her husband.

Tony sighs as he shakes his head, "You're not dropping my name, are you?" the man asks as he placed the lid back on the pot and he started walking towards his wife. For the past few days, Mary has been nagging him day and night of naming their child Anthony if it is a boy. It was the only name that wasn't getting scratched off from her list--his wife was very persistent and head rock on the thought of naming the kid after Tony's name, "Why can't you choose any other name other than my own?"

Mary just chuckles as she places her chin on top of her palm, "Well, first of, I decided to name my kid Anthony ever since I was a teenager. It was just a bonus that I married a man with the same name." Mary shrugged, "Don't assume that I chose that name because of you, honey,"

Tony just smirks as he raises his eyebrows at his wife, "Really? Or are you just making that up?"

"I'm serious Tony," Mary laughed, "I loved that name before I even met you." the woman said as she bopped Tony's nose.

"Well, I guess it was fate after all that brought us together." the billionaire joked, earning a hearty laugh from Mary.

Mary just smiles as she placed her soft hands on top of her baby bump, rubbing it, "If you're a boy, I'll really name you Anthony."

Tony stared at his wife, taking in the genuine desire of Mary to name their child _Anthony_. And even though Tony was opposed to it, he couldn't bring it to himself to shatter Mary's dream of having a kid named Anthony. So the man quickly suck his ego up and finally gave in to his wife's wants.

"Fine," Tony finally resigned, sighing, "We can name the baby Anthony if he's a boy but--" the man muttered, bringing his finger up to stop Mary from rejoicing too much, "It's just going to be his second name. I'll... we'll... we'll choose his first name that isn't associated with my other names or even my father's name, okay?"

Mary was beaming, her eyes glinting in happiness as she nods, "Thank you honey, I appreciate it so much!" the woman exclaimed as she threw herself on Tony, hugging the man tightly.

Tony just sighs, smiling genuinely too as he wrapped his protective arms around his wife, "Baby Anthony it is, if it's a boy," the man whispers.

Tony never really liked the idea of naming his child after him or even after his father because he felt like doing so was locking the child's fate. Locking the child's fate that he's going to be a destroyer too. Locking the child's fate to have a heart of iron. Locking the child's fate into the life that Tony had but never wanted his kids to ever live.

But now, the billionaire wasn't scared.

Because he knew that he's not alone in this life. He has Mary to guide him through fatherhood. She'll be there to nurture the kid--to make sure that the child would grow up to be blameless, pure and full of love--someone who's not like Anthony Edward Stark.

The child will grow up beautifully. The child will grow up blamelessly. The child will grow up with so much love, he or she will ooze in it.

Anthony Edward Stark's child will not be like him.

His child will be good.

Better.

The best.

As long as Mary's with him.

As long as he's not _alone_.

\--

Another week had passed and Tony still couldn't believe that he agreed to name his child on his own name--Anthony. It's weird to even think about, much less imagine his little boy named after him. And maybe that's the reason why Tony was secretly hoping that they could have a girl. He's wishing, praying to the heavens above to give him a girl. Because at the very least, it would turn much less like him. If it is a girl, Tony felt like it would be better. Macy, the name was already engraved in his heart, sold to the idea of naming his baby, Macy if ever it is a girl. The name just sounds so beautiful, like there's softness and gentleness in the name. He couldn't describe his feelings whenever he thinks about having a daughter named Macy but he has already made up his mind. Brianna Macy Stark.

"What do you think of me working?" It was asked out of the blue--there was no warning or anything. Mary just blurted it out like how she would whenever she got morning sickness and it surprised Tony, completely stunned the billionaire.

Mary and Tony were watching a movie in the living room--Toy Story 2, one of Mary's favorite. They were feasting over cheesy popcorn as they lay on the wide, white couch.

The genius quickly turned towards the woman that was safely tucked in his side, "Work?" Tony asked, "Why would you want to work?" the man repeated, finding no logic in Mary's question, "I mean, I'm a billionaire so I don't think you really need to work or anything. I could always give you whatever you want, you know?"

Mary sighs as she quickly separated from Tony in order to look directly into the man's eyes, "I know, it's just that... working has always been my dream and I know that you know that too? I mean... I studied so hard to get a degree and a doctorate. I invested too much time to my passion and I... I just want to go back to that life."

Tony's heart leaped into his throat, his heart hammering against his chest like some sick hammer, "I... wha-- where... where's this coming from?" the man asked, completely shocked by everything that Mary's spewing.

_What is this? Is she... is she leaving me now? Now that I am completely happy with her? Now that we have a child on the way who's too young to comprehend what separation means?_

Tony was completely dumbfounded, his heart shattering into pieces as he thinks about the worst outcome of this conversation.

"You know Richard Parker right?" Mary asked. And of course, Tony knew who that man was--Mary's long time best friend and well, ex-boyfriend. But that Parker guy never really bothered him. Tony wasn't insecure with himself--with all the money and good looks that he has, Tony knew that Richard Parker was no match for him. But now, to hear that name again during a time like this sends the billionaire to a roller coaster ride with his insecurities, his issues. "He emailed me last night, asking me if I was interested on going back to the field. I mean, I haven't really worked ever since we married each other and I... I just miss it, you know."

Tony stared at Mary, his heart breaking as he continue listening to the only woman he has ever loved. The only woman he knows he will be spending his eternity with, the only woman in his heart. "And?" Tony asked, not having enough words to continue the conversation. His words were dying in his throat and he couldn't even bring it to himself to argue with his very pregnant wife.

Tony knew Mary's line of work. Geneticists just don't work five to eight hours a day, no--Mary works all her life, dedicating her time and effort to her first love which is her work. Mary leaves the country so frequently, she might aswell just leave the United States altogether. Mary works day and night, she could actually live in her laboratory to finish what she's working on. Tony knew everything in Mary's work conditions so could you blame him for thinking that his happiness has finally ended?

"I'm thinking... maybe I could go back to work once I have given birth." Mary shrugged, completely oblivious towards Tony's feelings, "I know it's not the best decision especially that we have a little baby to look out for but Richard told me that I can just work for like five to six hours in the morning and then I can go back home after work. In that way, I could still look over little Anthony here,"

Tony was shocked, the fear that was gnawing in his heart slowly dissipating as he realized Mary's intention to stay with him, with their baby," You're not, you're not leaving me?" Tony asked, not even thinking about what he was asking.

It was now Mary's turn to stare at Tony, shocked by the man's sudden outburst, "Leave? Wha--" Mary was dumbfounded, as she gasped, finally understanding the situation, "Honey, I'm not going anywhere!" the woman exclaimed as she quickly went closer towards Tony and hugged him tight, "I'm not leaving, Tony." the woman muttered, "Did you--did you think I was going to leave you?"

Tony's eyes started to water, an overwhelming relief enveloping his entire system just like how Mary was embracing him so tight, and somehow, somehow it grounded him, "I... I--" Tony's voice was trembling, finding right words to say but failed so the man settled for the truth, "I thought you're leaving me. I mean, working for you means going out and about. Working on the lab all day and night and even going to different countries and well... leaving me."

Mary sighs as she straightened up, cupping Tony's face in her delicate hands, "You're the best thing that happened to me, Tony." Mary muttered, "I love you, so much. And I love little Anthony too and I promise you that I'm not leaving, ever."

Mary spoke with so much conviction that Tony didn't have any difficulty in trusting his wife's words because one thing about Mary is that she never lies. And another reason was because the billionaire was too inlove to the woman that he will believe anything that Mary will tell him.

_Anything. _

"You're not?" Tony asked, sounding so childish as he stared at Mary's chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm not," Mary smiled, speaking so surely--no second guessing as she rubs her thumb across Tony's cheeks, "I will never trade our family for anything in this world. I will never trade anything for you or for little Anthony."

Tony's heart started to even out, the hammering in his chest slowly fading into a somewhat normal rang3 because _fuck_ everything--he's going to believe Mary's words. Because Tony was sure, anchored in his wife's Bambi eyes that Mary will never leave him, like ever.

Tony sighs in relief as the woman encased her husband into an embrace yet again, tucking Tony's head under her chin, "I love you Tony. I love you too little Anthony,"

Tony hugged the woman back as he buried his face at the crook of Mary's neck, smelling the familiar vanilla scent that he grew to love--grounding him to what was currently happening, "I love you too Mary," Tony whispers, "But just to remind you, little Anthony isn't little Anthony yet. He could still be little Macy."

Mary just chuckles as she rubs her hands comfortingly on Tony's back, "Fine," Mary mumbles, "I love you little Macy."

\--

The past week has been pretty much a roller coaster, one second Tony thought Mary was finally leaving him and the next, he found himself giving his permission for Mary to go back to her work after she gives birth. Yeah, it might sound dumb but Tony knew how much Mary loved her work and how much time she invested in order to be a renown geneticist. Tony doesn't have the heart to take that from her. And maybe, Mary's constant assurances to Tony gave the billionaire a sense of confidence. A confidence that Mary was in fact not leaving him or even their little baby.

Tony may have trust issues but the man doesn't have it when it comes to his wife because he's pretty sure--so sure, he could feel it in his bones that Mary also loves him as much as he loves the woman and it was enough for the man to feed his confidence.

"Your blood pressure is on the normal side so I don't see any problem with little Stark over here or even on your welfare," Doctor Brown explained, her eyes smiling along with her lips.

Tony and Mary was back in the clinic for a check up and well, for the viewing of their little Stark's gender--it may be little Anthony or little Macy.

"But how about the constant headaches every night?" Tony asked, slightly worried.

"Well having headache is pretty much normal for pregnant women during their first trimester. Mary is now in her second trimester so the headache should probably be gone by now. But with the extra weight that she gained for the past months, I already expected it to happen. The headaches' isn't really serious but we can have some tests to make sure and to settle your heart Mr. Stark,"

Tony just nods as he squeezes Mary's hand in assurance, "That would be great."

"Do you have any other concerns? Spotting? Nausea? Other symptoms I should know of?" Doctor Brown prodded, wanting to know if there was anything that was bothering her patient.

"Nothing, it's just really the headaches at night." Mary answered back, a genuine smile on her face.

Doctor Brown smiles back as she turned towards Tony and then back to Mary, "So I'm pretty sure that you guys are excited to know what little Stark is."

Tony couldn't even hide his excited smile as he rubs his thumb over Mary's hand, "We are," he mumbled.

"Well, let's see now then." Doctor Brown exclaimed as she gestured Mary to get on the bed to start their second ultrasound.

The first time they did this, Tony was absolutely terrified and scared altogether but now to do this again with excitement and love in his heart is so much better. He was genuinely curious, wanting to know if it'll be Macy or Anthony but at the back of his head, the billionaire was still praying that it would be little Macy inside his wife's belly.

And just like their first time, Tony was squinting his eyes, trying to make sense of what was on the ultrasound machine but no matter how much he tries, he wasn't just that kind of doctor to actually understand what was on the machine. The screen finally settled, the small fetus now certainly looked like a baby. And just like the first time, Tony was awestruck--small tears forming at the rim of his eyes as he stared at his little baby.

Doctor Brown smiles as she turns to the expecting parents as she mouthed the words Tony thought would scare him, "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Stark, it's a _boy_."

Mary gasped, tears now evident in her eyes as she covered her mouth with both her hands, "It's little Anthony," the woman breathed as she turned towards the other Anthony in the room, "Darling, he's... he's little Anthony."

Tony was stunned, his eyes vacant as he stared at the monitor in front of him, trying so hard to understand and comprehend what was happening. Because _fuck_, he has a son. He has a son who's going to be named Anthony. He has a son who's going to live as a Stark. He has a son that may turn out exactly like him but_ oh God, please don't let that happen. Don't let him be destroyed by me._

"He's Anthony Stark," Tony breathed as he stared at his wife with wide eyes and scared face.

Mary quickly fished for her husband's hand and squeezed it tightly, assuring the billionaire yet again, "He's Anthony Stark and you're his father, Anthony Edward Stark and certainly, you're not Howard Stark. No, that's not you."

It was just words but those words weighed Tony down, grounding him. Because right now, all he needed was those words--those comforting words from the woman who knew him more than himself, from the woman of his dreams, from Mary Stark, his wife.

Tony nods as he forced out a smile, squeezing Mary's hand in return, "I'm not Howard," Tony whispers as he then turned his head towards the image of the little baby in front of him, "And you're not me, but you're Anthony, _my _little Anthony."

\--

"_Close your eyes, have no fear. The monster's gone, he's on the run and your daddy's here,_" Tony sang as he rubs the now humongous belly that was his wife's, praying that his voice would somehow calm the little boy in his mother's stomach. Tony wishes that what he's doing was helping Mary even just a little because he just can't stand the pained look from Mary, "_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy,_"

"Hmm," Mary groaned as she felt another kick into her ribs, rubbing her belly yet again as she scrunched her eyes when she felt, yet, another kick.

Tony sighs as he realized that what he was doing was futile. The man cups Mary's face, rubbing his thumb across the woman's cheeks, "I'm sorry honey, I couldn't do anything for the pain." the man whispers, trying not to add any discomfort to his wife.

"It's okay," Mary muttered as she faintly smiles at her husband, "I'm pretty sure little Anthony will halt all his somersaults and kicks after some minutes."

Tony smiled back towards Mary as he nods, knowing full well that the woman was right. Mary is already on her third trimester and almost on her 28th week of pregnancy. And for the past few weeks little Anthony's activities has been constant. The kid would usually kick, punch, stretch and even somersault in his mother's belly every night and at first, Tony was very much enthusiastic--always leaning his head on top of Mary's belly and listening to the kid. But not until this week when his enthusiasm turned into concern as all the baby's activity seemed to increase, making Mary more tired and in pain. And during those first days, the two parents noticed how little Anthony would always calm down whenever Tony would sing. The kid would always halt all his activities as his father sings Beautiful boy by John Lennon but now, it seems like it wasn't working anymore.

"Maybe we should visit Doctor--"

Mary quickly stopped Tony midway because she already knows where this was going, "We already did the other day, honey. And she told us that it is very much normal so there is nothing to worry about."

"Yeah but, I just can't stand watching you in pain." Tony muttered, looking down at the little kid as he rubs Mary's belly, "Please take it easy there, champ," Tony said, "Mom's getting tired here so you got to work with us, okay?"

Mary just smiles as she took Tony's hand into hers, "Little Anthony's really blessed to have you as his father," the woman mumbles.

Tony smiles, his heart melting by the sudden praise, "I'm blessed too," Tony whispers back, "But we've got to choose little Anthony's first name now 'cause I don't want to call him Anthony anymore--it just feels weird," the man muttered, earning a chuckle from Mary.

"I guess it's your turn to choose now since I already chose the name Anthony." Mary told the man, "Do you have any name on your mind?"

Tony hums, thinking so hard to think of a good name for the little bundle of joy, but nothing was really coming in Tony's mind, "I still couldn't think about anything but I guess we could still think about it in the upcoming weeks and I promise you that we'll have his name as soon as possible."

Tony shouldn't have relied on the upcoming weeks for choosing the child's name since little Anthony was certainly not waiting for a few more weeks before making his grand entrance.

\--

Tony stared at his trembling hands as he remembered how he held Mary's crying form when they were informed by Doctor Brown that they needed to get little Anthony out already. Tony could still hear Mary's cries, could still hear his wife's pleas to save her son, could still hear the hammering of his chest. Tony could still feel the gnawing pain in his heart as he worries for the two most important people in his life because right now, both of them were in the border of life and death, fighting hard, and the billionaire wished he could fight in their stead. It's better that it's him--not Mary, not _his _little Anthony.

"Tony, what happened?!" Pepper's voice was clear as Tony hears the familiar clacking of heels as his assistant rushed towards Tony's place, "Where's Mary? Where's the baby?" the woman asked, her heart already in her throat as soon as she heard the distressed voice from her boss just minutes ago--crying, in hysterics as he tried to explain over the phone what's happening but couldn't.

"Mary... Mary's in labor," Tony whispered, his voice lost from constricting his throat in order for him not to cry anymore.

"Labor?!" Pepper asked, stunned, "But... but it's too early," the woman whispers, "Isn't she on her 30th week of pregnancy? That's... that's--"

Tony quickly cut Pepper off, correcting her, "She's on her 28th week."

Pepper gasped as she brought her hands on top of her mouth, "Oh my gosh!"

"I... I'm scared, Pep," Tony mumbles, finally letting go of the strong facade that he was putting up as he sobbed--crying so hard as he thinks about the worst scenario that could happen.

Because Tony could lose Mary tonight.

Tony could lose his little Anthony tonight.

Or he could lose both.

And the man couldn't even think of what was worst out of those three scenarios because Tony couldn't--wouldn't even think about his life without those two people. "Mary was having terrible pain so we decided to bring her here but when they were checking up on her and the baby, the baby's blood pressure started collapsing fast and they--they needed to deliver him and I... I don't know what's happening now."

"Hey, don't worry," Pepper muttered as she sat beside the man and rubbed her hand comfortingly on Tony's shoulders, "Mary is a fighter, we all know that. You've got to trust her,"

"I know that she is..." the man muttered, his hands opening and closing in front of him because of anxiousness, "But my baby... my little _Anthony_," Tony mumbles, crying hard as he tried to understand what was happening.

Because how could a happy day turn to the worst? How can a perfect day--a day with perfectly fried eggs, a day with laughs and movies, a day with singing lullabies to his child, a day with rubbing his calloused hand on top of Mary's belly turned to this--a situation between life and death, a day with sadness and fear, a day with uncertainty, just... How?   
  


The seconds rolled to minutes, and the minutes turned to hours and during those times, Tony's small family arrived--Pepper was there to comfort her boss, Happy was there and was always so alert as to what Tony would need and Rhodey was also there, patting Tony's shoulder whenever he feels that the man was slipping further into his negative thoughts. The time was torture for everyone, not knowing the true standing of the two precious people in Tony Stark's life. Until finally, Doctor Brown emerged from the operating room, removing the surgical mask from her face.

Tony quickly stood up, meeting Doctor Brown half way, "What... what--where's my baby? My wife?" Tony asked, his heart still beating loudly against his chest.

"Mary's stable and she's going to be fine," the doctor muttered, earning a small relief from the billionaire.

But Tony knew, by the looks of Doctor Brown that something was wrong. Because her usually positive and upbeat self, was now grave and just by the look from the woman was enough to send Tony into an overdrive.

"How about my baby?" Tony asked, his voice squeaking as he tried his best to keep his tears at bay, "How about my little Anthony?"

Doctor Brown sighed as she met the billionaire's terrified eyes, "Anthony Stark was born nine weeks earlier and he's considered as a very premature baby." the woman mutters, "The baby wasn't able to breathe when we first got him out but we were able to resuscitate him after a minute." Tony's eyes widened, shocked to find out that his child, his baby was practically dead when he was born and by some miracle, little Anthony fought through death and got back, "Little Stark is now in the NICU for his special needs but we're still keeping an eye on him."

Tony was shocked, his eyes wide, his mouth agape as he tried so hard to process everything that was happening. How--why, how did this happen? W-why did this happen?

"Tony, breathe," he heard Rhodey mumbled but how can he breathe when his child was fighting between life and death?

How can he breathe when his baby's still not out of the woods?

How can he breathe when his little babybwas in pain?

"Mr. Stark, you need to relax," Doctor Brown exclaimed, "I know very much that it might sound scary but we're doing our best to give him all of his needs."

"Where--I... Can I... Could I visit him?" Tony asked, wanting to just see his little baby breathing, just wanting to assure himself that his child is still here in this world, breathing and living.

"You can visit him now but just for a little while." Doctor Brown muttered, smiling a little towards the new father.

Tony just nods, as he spared a few glaces to the three people who kept him grounded for hours.

"Say hello to little boss for us," Happy muttered, smiling a little.

Tony just smiled back a little as he left, following Doctor Brown.

Tony was taken to the NICU, he was wearing scrubs in order to be permitted inside the ward. And the man couldn't comprehend that his child will be here, so tiny and so small just like the other babies that were lined up before him.

"Anthony Stark is born at exactly 10:56PM, August 10, 2001. He weighed a pound when he was born." Doctor Brown was filling Tony in as they head towards his little baby. And the man couldn't imagine a person, a baby weighing one pound! Is that even possible? "And since the baby is very premature, you still couldn't hold him yet. You could just look from afar as of the moment."

And finally they arrived at the corner of the NICU and there, with bold letters read, "Anthony Stark. 28 weeks. August 10, 2001."

Tony can finally see--the little boy living inside his little artificial world, conpletely naked with tons of wires connected to him. The kid was so small, so tiny, Tony felt like the baby could actually fit into his two palms. He saw how the kid fought--breathing with the help of a mechanical ventilator. He saw how his child was almost taken away from him, saw how his child was still fighting.

"Hey kiddo," Tony whispered, leaning in to see his little Anthony more clearly, "It's me, your daddy," the man mumbles, placing his calloused hands on top of the incubator--wanting so badly to just hold his baby, "Daddy's here bambino. I'm here, bambi,"

Tony's heart was breaking as he continued to stare at the fragile little baby before him. And he couldn't believe it because even though the kid looked tiny, looked so easy to break, Tony knew that this child, just like any other Stark's was a fighter. A man with a heart of iron.

"Just keep on fighting," Tony whispered as tears started sliding down his cheeks, his heart beating so loudly, it was ringing in his ears, "Keep on fighting bambino and daddy will always be here to wait for you."

Tony dreamt of seeing his child for the first time so many times over. He could feel the happiness radiating in his heart even after he woke up. But now to actually see his kid, his baby, breathing in front of him, felt like his heart was going to burst. It was overwhelming, but overwhelmingly good.

"I love you little Anthony," Tony whispered, his love for the kid increasing second by second as he felt the need to protect and to love the kid unconditionally, "I love you bambino,"

Little Anthony Stark might be small, lacked weeks in his progress, might be fragile but Anthony Edward Stark's love for him was big--as wide as the universe above, as deep as the ocean, as massive as the biggest planet existing.

Anthony Stark, born on August 10, 2001. Weighed 1lb, premature at 28 weeks but is strong as a normal baby could be.

The kid is a fighter. As strong as a rock.

With an iron heart.   
  
  
  
  


_"I love you, kid," _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, do not be confused. Peter is still Peter. The only reason he doesn't have that name yet is that Tony hasn't thought about it yet. But don't worry, it will come.
> 
> I hope you guys liked my update and I'm sorry that it took so long! I was quiet busy, so yeah!
> 
> Comment below because studies show that I update more when I am bombarded with comments! Love you guys!
> 
> 1 Samuel 1:27 - I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.


	4. Steady as a rock

A week.

It has been a week since Anthony Stark was born to the world and every second, every minute, every hour was a fight against death. The kid was born very prematurely and was very ill with E.Coli sepsis.

It was very difficult to watch to say the very least.

There were times when Tony would find himself watching his child fight against death, tears streaming down the man's eyes as he watched. There were times when he's fighting himself against the thought of raging war against the nurses just so he could finally hold his little baby in his arms. There were times when Tony would panic whenever Peter's heart monitor would miss a beat. There were times when Tony would hold out his breath for seconds when his baby would take too long to draw another breath. There were times when Tony would isolate himself just so no one would know that it was breaking him inside to watch his child fight all alone in his little synthetic world. There were times when Tony couldn't console his wife--Mary begging everyone to let her see her little Anthony but she wasn't well enough to go on a wheelchair and have her wishes granted. So Tony sucked everything up and became an anchor for his wife, saying comforting words and assurances.

"Can I see him now?" Mary asked for probably the hundredth time that week.

And just like every time, Tony answered, "You're too weak, honey," the man sighs as he tightened his hold on Mary, "Maybe tomorrow, if you regain that strength of yours."

Mary sighs as she looked away, tears brimming in her eyes, "What does he look like?" the woman asked, as she wiped the lone tear that fell and turned back towards her husband, "Does he look as handsome as you?"

Tony smiles, knowing full well that Mary was trying to lighten the situation and the man couldn't help but to humor his wife, "He looks more handsome than me," the billionaire mumbled, "He's so little--he could very well fit in my two palms." Tony chuckled, remembering the rare times he got to see his child clearly--the good days, "His hands are so little too and, and, his eyes. I've seen his eyes once, this morning." Tony beamed, all the dread that he was feeling, slowly dissipating as he remembers what happened this morning.

_The kid opened his eyes._

"You've seen it?" Mary asked, her excitement bubbling as she turned enthusiastically towards Tony, "What color was it? Is it-- what-- what did it look like?"

Tony smiles, so genuine, it melted Mary's heart. It was the first time she have seen that look from Tony--it was the look of pure _admiration_, love and thankfulness.

"Bambi," Tony mumbles, "His eyes are like Bambi's. Those doe-like eyes that sparkles when the light catches it. It's... it's so beautiful, like an angel's."

Mary smiles as she leans her head to her side, "Just like your's," the woman whispers, "Brown, doe-like eyes... beautiful, beautiful eyes."

Tony's heart was bursting, the love in his heart was _incomprehensible_\--it was too much, so much that his heart could actually explode. And even though these days were filled with uncertainty, the love and the protectiveness in his heart was much more prominent than fear and dread. Because at the very least, his child is _alive_. At the very least, he was one of the lucky parents that still has the chance to live their life with their kid, and for that, he was more than _thankful_.

"Just like mine." Tony whispers back.

\--

August 20, 2001. It was the tenth day and little Anthony was holding on steadily. The kid was giving a great fight and his parents couldn't be anymore proud. The kid still have E.Coli sepsis and the doctors are observing him closely just to make sure that everything was going well. And actually, it was. Anthony Stark was greatly well--he was asymptomatic and incredibly feisty which was completely unexpected for someone like him.

"Little Anthony here is holding up pretty good--it's unexpected, really. He's like a rock, so steady and strong," Doctor Brown muttered, smiling widely.

"Yeah, my kid's rock-strong," Tony smiles, nodding, as he continued to watch the little baby who was sleeping on his tummy, lots of wires still tucked into him--but just like what Doctor Brown said, the kid's steady as a _rock_.

"Maybe later or probably tomorrow, we could get Mary and have her see the baby," the doctor informed, the burdens in Tony's shoulder slowly reducing, "And by the looks of it, little Stark might get off the vent soon and just have the CPAP machine."

Tony sighed, his heart beating so loudly in his chest, "That's--that's good news." Tony muttered, his breath hitching and it was as if he could _cry_\--cry in pure happiness. "It's a really good news."

"It is," Doctor Brown mumbled, smiling more widely now. "As long as little Anthony continue being steady and strong. As long as he's rock-headed to get better, everything's going to be just fine."

"As long as he's steady as a rock," Tony mumbles, more to himself. "A rock,"

Tony wasn't really a religious person. He didn't really dwell in that kind of thinking but when Mary entered his life, he would find himself thanking someone up there for giving him his wife and thanking the heavens above for saving his little baby from death. So maybe, there was a teeny tiny bit in him that somehow believes in a supreme being--God.

"Yeah, a rock," Doctor Brown mumbles as she pats Tony's shoulder, finally leaving and giving the father and son their own moment.

Tony doesn't read the Bible--never in his days did he read or even held one but he knew some of its stories. He could still remember the several nights when Maria Stark was there to lull him to sleep. His mother would always tell him Bible stories--stories about Noah, the parable of the prodigal son, David and Goliath and many more. It was thanks to the woman's Italian and Roman Catholic origin that Tony grew up with those stories and somehow, right now, he was really thankful that his mother shared those. And at the back of his head, he thanked himself for actually listening to his mother. Because as soon as he heard the word rock, one person came into his mind.

Petros. Cephras. Rock.

_Peter_.

Peter, the apostle of Jesus. The one who had rock-like loyalty. A man of simplicity and faith. A man who wanted to do good but was not always able to live up to his goals--but still tried and tried and at the end of the day, _succeeded_.

Peter, his mother's favorite apostle.

Steady like a rock.

A rock.

_Peter_.

Peter Anthony Stark.

It was fitting. A name like it was _solely _made for the little kid that was fighting in front of him. "Hey Peter," Tony whispered as he placed his calloused hand on top of the incubator, "Do you like that name, kiddo?" the man mumbles, keeping his voice little, scared that he might hurt his baby's little ears. "Peter Anthony Stark," Tony breathed, smiling widely as he stared at little _Peter_. Yes, that'll be this little angel's name now--he's sold on it.

Tony was over the moon to finally find the most fitting name for his child--his little _fighter_. Tony rubs his thumb on the incubator, just like how he would whenever he cups Mary's cheeks but now, it was meant for his son. But while doing so, Tony almost bulged his eyes out when the little eyes that was closed began to look back at him. Dark, brown, doe-like eyes stared back at Tony, blinking, twinkling.

"Hey, Petey," Tony exclaimed as he let out a shaky exhale, the nerves in his system going haywire as he stared at the little orbs that was blinking at him, "Have I woken you up from slumber land?" Tony asked, crouching low so he could clearly see his little baby. Tony never really talked to the kid when he's awake. Every time he arrives in the NICU, Peter's eyes were usually fused shut or he's just simply sleeping. The only time he has seen those Bambi eyes were the morning of the seventh day and it was just a brief moment, a short second before the kid closes his eyes again.

But now, the billionaire was clearly overjoyed as he stare at those gorgeous Bambi eyes, knowing full well that his baby _could _be aware of his presence. "I would hold you if I could but don't worry, as long as you fight some more, we could finally touch each other, sound good?" Tony asked, smiling.

The billionaire knew that it was futile to talk to his baby since he probably couldn't understand what he's saying but still, he did. Because talking to the baby right now was doing enormous things in his mental health--it was grounding him, calming his erratic heart and well, bathing him with peacefulness and serenity.

Peter just blinked tiredly at his father, showing signs of going back to sleep, and as soon as Tony realized it, the man smiles, "You're sleeping on me again?" the genius mumbles, as he cooed at Peter, "That's fine," the man breathes, "As long as you gain your strength and all, we could finally hold you. I bet you'd like that--being swaddled in your mommy's chest and not here in your own plastic world..." Tony sighs as he feels the intense longing that he has for the kid. He was so close yet so far and all the man wanted right now was hold Peter or even at least his small, little hands, just to tell the little angel that he's not alone. "I miss you so much, buddy." Tony whispers.

Peter just blinked again, his Bambi eyes still trained at his father--like he _knew _who the man was.

"How I wish I could hold you and show you how much I love you..." the man finally smiles, getting rid of the momentary helplessness, "I'll always be here, baby. Mommy and I are waiting for you."

The little kid seemed like he was listening, since his eyes were still on Tony but those eyes were slowly fluttering sleepily, "You're really that sleepy, huh kid?" Tony asked, chuckling a little, "I bet your mom's going to be jealous again since I've seen your Bambi eyes but don't worry, she'll be here maybe later to pay you a visit."

Tony was blabbering and he knew that. But the man just can't seem to shut his mouth, not now that his little baby was somehow responsive. It was just exhilarating to actually talk to Peter and know that the child was awake and somehow, aware.

But of course, just like any other baby, Peter was slowly losing his fight against sleepiness and Tony could very well see that, "Am I boring you, Pete?" Tony chuckled as he caresses the incubator yet again, wanting to just hold Peter in his arms, "I guess your dad's pretty boring, huh?" Tony asked, smiling, "Fine, you should probably go back to sleep and gain all the strength you could have so that your mommy's not going to be too worried, okay?" Tony mumbles, "Sweet dreams, kiddo,"

\--

The road to recovery wasn't really the easiest thing in the world. Not even the strong Mary Fitzpatrick-Stark is exempted since it took almost a week for her to have the strength to be on a wheelchair. But thank the heavens that the woman was steadily recovering and now, Doctor Brown finally gave a go signal for the woman to finally see her little baby in the NICU. And Tony was very much excited--probably more excited than Mary herself because not only were they going to be a complete family now but they will also be able to _finally _hold Peter.

It's already past 10PM and Tony still haven't told Mary the name that he settled in. He decided on telling his wife the moment they got to finally see Peter together.

And now, that moment has finally come.

"Hey little guy," Mary exclaimed, her hands shaking as she reached her hands inside the incubator, finally touching her little Anthony, "Hey baby, it's me, your mommy," the woman was now crying, her tears slowly falling down her cheeks as she felt the overwhelming calmness in her heart and happiness to finally see her baby.

"Hey kiddo, look, mommy's here," Tony whispers, his voice shaking as a few tears slid down his cheeks as well. "I told you yesterday that she's going to visit you and she's here now, bud."

"He's so beautiful, Tony," Mary breathed as she caressed Peter's head, her hands so gentle as she rubs her thumb on the baby's little hair.

"He is," Tony mumbled, wanting to also hold Peter but restraining himself so that Mary could have her fill. "_Peter's _so beautiful,"

It was a slip of tongue. Tony wasn't supposed to tell Mary right away, he was supposed to ask her permission first, but oh well, _I guess it's out there now._

"Peter?" Mary asked, a hint of smile on her lips.

"Yeah," Tony mumbled, scratching the back of his head guiltily, "I uhh, sort of chose it for him. Uhm, Peter Anthony Stark... if, if it's okay with you."

Mary smiles widely as she turns to the bundle of joy and continued to rub her thumb on Peter, "Hey there darling," the woman mumbled, "I guess you finally have your official name now... Peter Anthony Stark,"

"Do you like the name?" Tony asked, wanting to know if Mary agreed on it.

"I love it," Mary breathes, "I love our little Peter's name."

"It means rock." Tony informed Mary, rubbing his hand on the woman's arms, "It's also the name of my mom's favorite apostle, I don't know... it just crossed my mind and I felt that the name was fitting."

"Steady as a rock," Mary whispers, "So strong like his father..." the woman mumbles, more to herself, "Now, why don't you hold our little fighter? I know that you're just humoring me," the woman mumbled as she took out her hands from the incubator and turned towards Tony.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked, unsure, as he turned to Mary and then to Peter.

"What?" Mary asked, chuckling, "I'm pretty sure you're just restraining yourself from touching Peter. Now, do yourself a favor and just hold him."

Tony has been dreaming of this exact moment the second he saw Peter the first time inside the incubator. He just wanted to hold the kid and offer him comfort and for days, he had been looking on for this moment but now that the time has finally come, he felt scared and he certainly felt like a coward.

"What if--what if I hurt him?" Tony asked, his heart hammering inside his chest.

"You won't," Mary told him, with finality in her voice, "It's _Peter_."

It was only two words but it spoke volume for Tony. _It's Peter_. Tony won't hurt the kid because he's _Peter_. Because Mary knew that Tony will never let any harm come in their child's way. Because Mary knew how much Tony loves the child so much, she's pretty sure Tony loves Peter now more than her but it didn't bother her--not even a bit. Because Mary knew that Tony will go through the ends of the Earth for Peter--because it's _Peter_.

"It is Peter," Tony mumbled, nodding, finally mustering the courage to sit down on one of the stools and putting his shaking hands inside the little incubator. And with the last bit of hesitation, Tony put his calloused hands on top of Peter's small head, rubbing a soothing pattern on the kid's tiny curls. "Hey kiddo, daddy's back again... and now, I can finally touch you," the man whispered, his hands so gentle for someone who works everyday, his hands so soft as he caresses the child's head.

"I told you I would offer you some comfort, right?" Tony asked, tears slowly streaming down his face, "I'm here now, Pete, daddy's _here _now."

_No need to be scared. _It was unspoken but Tony wished Peter heard it from his chest.

\--

It was on the second week when Mary has been stable enough to finally get discharged. Her hemoglobin was back in the safe range and everything was going back to normal. However, the two new parents felt hesitant to leave their little baby back at the hospital as they go back to their home in Malibu. It was bittersweet but surprisingly, Tony needed only a few persuasion to finally leave Peter in the NICU.

_"We'll be back Petey." Tony muttered, his hand caressing Peter's head gently, "Mom and I will always visit you, okay? So don't worry. But for now, we're going to prepare your room at home, you're going to love it." the man smiles, feeling reluctant to leave his little bundle of joy but knew that he needed to, "Continue fighting, my little fighter and as soon as you're feeling a lot better, we can finally take you home. So kick those sickness out and hang out with your old man, okay bud?"_

_"You'll be coming home in no time, darling," Mary mutters towards Peter as she rubs his hands on Tony's shoulder._

_"I love you kiddo, thousands." Tony whispered._

_"I love you Peter," Mary whispers too._

Sleeping without Peter was the one of the hardest thing Tony had done. On the first night of Mary being discharged, Tony twisted and turned, trying to get the best position to sleep on. But it seems like no matter what position, no matter how many times he closed his eyes, no matter how many sheep he counted, the man still couldn't fall asleep. His thoughts were racing for a thousand miles per hour, thinking about the little baby that they left back in the hospital.

And by 4:00 AM, Tony gave up and decided to just use his time to do something productive. So the man left their bedroom and went to his safe haven, his workshop.

A crib.

That's what he's going to make. Tony had been debating with Mary on what kind of crib they should get. But every time his wife would suggest something, Tony would always find some sort of flaw on the infant's bed--too hard, not protected enough, too complicated to set up--you name it, Tony would always have a say on it. That's why by the end of Mary's 4th month of pregnancy, the woman just gave up on searching and let Tony choose the best crib for their little baby. And now, Tony was on a mission to do just that, but the difference is, Tony's the one who's going to make it.

And when he started with the crib, Tony couldn't seem to drop his new found addiction. The genius started making so many things for his child--junior dining chairs, baby fences by the pool, and just basically baby-proofing the whole house.

It was soothing to know that Tony was doing something for Peter and somehow, all those projects kept the man sane from being too far away from his kid.

\--

After the first week of being home, Tony and Mary went back to the hospital to visit Peter. And just like ever, the baby's still holding on steadily.

They say that the first few weeks is very critical for a premature baby but Peter continued to progress without any setbacks. Peter slowly kicked the E.Coli sepsis' butt, making him finally free from some of his IVs.

"Wow, look at you," Tony exclaimed as soon as he saw Peter after a week.

The kid looked better--he was out of the humongous CPAP machine and was now on nasal cannula--which is a very good news for the new parents.

"Peter's free from E.Coli sepsis now and we just have to observe him as the days go by. And as you all know, we also need to keep him until his true due date which is on the later week of October or probably November."

November was too far out in the future, that's three more months--well, actually, probably about two months tops since September had already begun. But well, for Tony it was _too _far. The man just wanted to bring Peter back in their home and nurse the child and just smother him with love and care.

"Isn't there any way we could bring him home earlier?" Tony asked, his eyes still trained on the fully awake Peter.

"We want to make sure that he's okay before we let him go home. You know very well the dangers of being premature--there could be infections, hemorrhaging, hearing loss and other host of other conditions that may develop along the way so we just want to give him the best care to avoid those as much as possible."

Tony knew that. It was one of the few things he wanted to know since the birth of Peter. He wanted to know what he could do for his child when the time comes. So even though listening to Peter's possible complications was enough to send the man into a heart attack, he still listened--took note of every infections, problems and conditions that may arise because of Peter's premature nature. The man was very much prepared for those things--he contacted the best doctors on standby in case... _just in case _his nightmares would happen.

"As much as we want to bring him home, his health is still our utmost priority." Mary sighs, wanting to also bring Peter home.

"That's fine, as long... As long as he's in best condition, I could always wait... we could always wait," Tony breathed.

"I know that you guys might badly want to have Peter in your home and it's sad that you still can't but on the good news, Peter's pretty stable now to be held." Doctor Brown muttered, smiling.

Tony quickly whipped his head towards the doctor, so shocked by the sudden news because did he just hear the doctor right? Peter can be held now?

"You mean..." Mary whispered, still in shock.

"You can swaddle Peter in your chest now and probably get nursed by you." Doctor Brown muttered, smiling widely towards the other woman.

Mary gasped, excited by the sudden news, "I--oh my gosh, can I--can I hold him now?" the woman asked, completely excited.

"Of course," Doctor Brown smiled warmly as they slowly took Peter out of the incubator, few wires still attached to him as she slowly situated the baby on Mary's arms.

Tony couldn't help but to feel jealous. It was irradical to think like that but at the back of his head, the billionaire wanted to also hold the kid--his kid into his arms.

"Such a beautiful baby," Mary mumbles, Peter's head supported by his arms as she cooed on the baby, "Hey darling, how are you doing? Does it feel good to be swaddled by mommy?"

Tony smiled, the jealousy in his system completely ebbing from his heart as he placed his rough hands on top of his wife's shoulders, "The kid's been waiting for this moment. Don't you, bud?" Tony mumbled, chuckling as he carefully rubbed Peter's fragile head. "I'm pretty sure it was pretty lonely in his little artificial world. But now, he's being hugged by so much love and affection, isn't that right Pete?"

Tony wasn't expecting any response from the timid infant but what happened next surprised not only Tony but also Mary.

Peter's little lips formed a small 'o' as if to confirm what his father just said. It was a quiet one, just a small action of forming his lips into such shape but it was more than enough to earn 'aw' and 'coos' from his parents.

"Did you just agree with me, Petey-pie?" Tony asked, chuckling--his heart beating so loud in his chest as he feels the wild butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

And as if Peter could understand, the kid formed his lips into the same shape as before--a small 'o' as his eyes darted from his mom's face back to his dad.

"Wow, look at my baby. Answering his dad and all!" Mary exclaimed happily, her heart warm with contentment, "You're such a good baby, aren't you, little Petey?" Mary asked, wanting to also get the same response from her son.

Peter didn't confirm anymore since the kid didn't form the familiar shape with his mouth but instead, just blinked at his mom--as to Mary's dismay.

"Aren't you going to answer me too, sweetheart?" the woman asked, smiling gently at her kid.

"I guess we now know who's the kid's favorite, Mary," Tony bragged jokingly, earning him a snicker from his wife, "I mean it's not a competition, but I guess, my little Petey-pie is pretty inclined to me. Isn't that right, kiddo?" Tony asked.

And as if the kid was playing with his mother, the infant answered with a silent 'o' that earned a hearty laugh from Tony and a playful, offended sound from Mary.

"See? He answers to me," Tony exclaimed, his ego getting boosted up just by the simple act of his child.

"Well let's see if the hypothesis is true," Doctor Brown butted in, "Why don't you hold Peter, Mr. Stark?" the woman asked, earning a small smile from Mary.

If Tony was the same man a few months back, he would've rejected right there and then. He would've felt incompetent to at least hold the child. He would've been scared to touch Peter, afraid that he might hurt him.

But Tony changed.

He almost lost Peter a month ago and he wasn't taking any chances. He will hold his child and make sure that Peter knows how much he loves him. He will show the kid that his father's _here _with him.

Tony will define what love is for Peter.

Tony will defeat fear and let the overwhelming love bask him.

"Sure, why not." Tony mumbles, chuckling, "I'm pretty sure my little Petey-pie missed his father so much."

Mary stood up from the chair, still cradling the little bundle of joy in her chest. Tony occupied the vacated chair and waited for Mary to place Peter on his arms.

His heart was hammering loudly against his chest, elephants stomping loudly inside his stomach as he waited for the little baby to be placed on to him.

Tony was very much excited. He has been waiting for this moment and now, there was no time to be afraid, no time to be a coward. Peter needs him and he will be there, _always_.

Mary slowly placed Peter on his father's arm, the kid squirming lightly by the sudden change of position but once settled on Tony's arms, the kid stilled--his brown, doe eyes staring at his father as his lips formed in another shape of 'o'.

"Yes, that's right Petey-pie, daddy's here." Tony mumbles as he took everything in--Peter's doe like eyes, his cute, button nose, his thin lips and those gorgeous, blushed cheeks, "Wow darling, you took all those good looks from your old man, huh?" Tony exclaimed, not being able to sensor his mouth by the sudden pride that was being brought upon his shoulders.

Because, _damn, _his kid looks handsome... just like his father. And Tony was pretty sure that his kid would definitely break every girl's heart, he just hope that Peter won't. He just hopes that Peter will not follow his footsteps when it comes to handling relationships and girls.

"You have such gorgeous eyes, bambino, well courtesy of me, of course," Tony muttered, earning a laugh from Mary and Doctor Brown.

"Hey, you're taking all the credit there, Stark," Mary muttered jokingly.

Tony just smiles at his wife as he looked back down on Peter, "Fine, you've got beautiful rosy cheeks like your mom's," Tony praised as he raised his hand and rubbed his calloused hands on Peter's cheeks.

"That's more like it," Mary muttered, smiling.

"Gosh," Tony exclaimed as the man continued to look at his mini me, "You don't know how much I love you bambino. So, so much." the man breathed as he reached for Peter's little, little hands. "I love you so much, Peter."

Peter seemed to understand as he grabbed Tony's index finger with his whole hand, seemingly to tell his father the same thing.

Tony's heart melted as soon as he felt the warmth that was enveloping his finger--the warmth spreading up to his heart, "Yeah, I know you do too, bud," Tony whispers, smiling, "I know you love me too."

\--

The next few weeks has been a blur. For days, Tony would be in his workshop working hard so that they will be ready for the arrival of Peter. And when he's not working, he would find himself cuddled by his wife's side, probably watching movies or just keeping each other company. When Fridays come, the two parents would go back to the hospital and visit Peter and every day, every week, they were greeted by good news of Peter's improving health.

The weeks had been great and Tony couldn't find any flaws in it and he hopes that it will continue in the upcoming days, months, years. Gosh, he doesn't even want this happiness to end.

But one afternoon came when he needed to come back to the reality of life--the cruelty of life.

Mary decided to go back to her work earlier than what they planned. Doctor Brown had already gave her a go signal but for Tony, it was too early. Hell, Peter's not even home yet and Mary was already insisting on going back to her laboratory and start working her ass out.

"Mary, this isn't about my trust in you, okay?" Tony muttered, his nerves tingling by the sudden onslaught of emotions, "I trust you so damn much, much more than I trust myself. Do you understand that?" the man breathed, trying so hard to keep his calm, "So, no, this isn't about me trusting you on not getting back with Richard Parker. This is about our child, Mary. Peter's not even home yet and you're already itching to leave."

It was their first fight as parents and damn, Tony was very much thankful that Peter's still not here to witness his parents arguing.

"What, so you're telling me now that I don't care about our child?!" Mary asked back, her tone rising a little higher than Tony would like.

"Do not twist my words." Tony mumbled, rubbing his thumb and index finger on his tired eyes. "Look Mary," the man mumbles as he stood up, making a beeline towards his raging wife. He placed both his hands on top of Mary's shoulder to calm the woman and spoke with his eyes trained solely on Mary, "I support you in this, okay? I support you for whatever you want to do, for whatever you want to achieve, but honey, can't you just wait for a little while until Peter's home?" Tony asked, his eyes begging, not wanting to have an argument with his wife. "If you want to continue being a geneticist, I won't stop you. I will even give you my full support, I will be with you every step of the way. What I want you to know is that Peter _needs _you, Mary, so much and _I _need you too."

Mary's eyes started to water, her head hanging low as she finally burst out every pieces of emotion in her heart, the burden that she has been carrying since Peter was born, "This is killing me Tony," Mary whispered that caused Tony's heart to break into pieces. "Every time I'm alone, every time I'm lost in my head, all I can see is Peter's still figure when they brought him out. No cries, no whimpers, no nothing. He was dead Tony and every time I close my eyes, I see that--I see the dead Peter and it's killing me, Tony." Mary muttered, crying so hard as her legs gave out. "I need something to tune that out. I need something to distract me so that I would not see my nightmare again, please honey, please let me do this."

Post partum depression. It occurs in women soon after giving birth and apparently, Mary got it too. Doctor Brown told Tony that Mary's officially diagnosed with Baby blues and even though it wasn't that severe, they wanted everything to be okay for the new mother. And the best way they could treat it is through medications, counseling and well, giving Mary a break.

For the past few weeks, Tony has been busy with Peter that he completely forgot about the well-being of his wife but now, they were finally communicating--telling each other how they feel, supporting each other as the best that they can. And even though Tony has severe guilt complex, the man didn't have the time to blame himself anymore. So what he decided to do was to become the support system Mary needed--giving the woman the best care she deserves and always looking out for her.

After getting diagnosed, Mary started taking medications and she also started going to counselings and apparently, Tony also gave a go signal for Mary to return to her work.

It wasn't the best decision but since Doctor Brown told him that it will help Mary, he sucked up all his sentiments and allowed his wife to go back to her job. It was a little sacrifice that he could take, after all, his family's happiness always comes before his.

\--

Weeks passed and it seemed like going back to work was what Mary needed after all. She was glowing, beaming, completely happy on the first week of going back to work and Tony was happy for her, he really is but there was one problem that was sitting on the air.

Time.

Since Mary works at the lab at 8:00 AM and comes home at 3:00 PM, Tony would usually spend his lunch alone. It was actually nothing, and the billionaire was convinced that he was just being clingy--which in actuality, he was. But all those time spent apart made the two somewhat stronger and the fear of being distant from each other was completely out of the equation.

Everything was going _well _for everyone.

Tony spends his time in his workshop and sometimes going to Stark Industries for some works that he left for Obadiah and Pepper.

Mary spends her time in her laboratory, doing whatever a geneticist does and patching up broken ties with his ex-boyfriend slash colleague, Richard Parker.

Peter on the other hand spends his time gaining his strength and just progressing his health rapidly.

And just like that, everything was back to normal--there was happiness, peace and well, love.

\--

"Tony, he looks exactly like you!" Rhodey exclaimed as he situated himself beside Peter who was lying in on the massive couch, sleeping.

"Of course platypus, he's my son, he will surely look like me," Tony snapped as he dried his hands on the towel, wanting to always have clean hands when he hold his child, "And I'm pretty sure he's handsome too, just like me."

"Well, not trying to be mean but Peter looks more handsome than you." Rhodey muttered, smiling at Peter as the man held the little hand of the kid.

Peter did finally come home on October 18th instead of going home on November 10th which is his due date. The kid is already 10 weeks old when he was allowed to get discharged and miraculously, the kid weighs a whopping 4.5 pounds and the only conditions that he has is bradycardia and acid reflux. The kid just needed a monitor and four medications and that was it!

Peter had absolutely no other complications that the doctors thought he might have. The kid is a walking miracle... a kid who defied medical wisdom and his parents were very much thankful for every little blessings that they had for the past few months.

It was those blessings and miracles that saved little Peter's life.

Tony snorted as he walked back towards his kid to finally hold him, "Well if you have a handsome dada and a beautiful mama, I'm pretty sure that'll result to a very beautiful little baby, isn't that right Petey-pie?"

Peter was still asleep in his father's arms and Tony shouldn't probably carry the kid since he was in deep sleep but the man just couldn't help himself. Holding Peter just calms Tony's heart and he just wants to make sure that Peter was safely tucked in his arms. Besides, the kid had already enough of being alone, it's now Tony's turn to make Peter feel that he's protected.

It was now Rhodey's turn to snort but not contradicting what his best friend just said, "Have you planned for the PR yet? I mean, you should probably let the whole world know now that you have an heir before everything goes haywire." the man suggested, "I mean, you can't probably hide Peter from all the press. You could've hid the pregnancy but this child is a different story."

Tony sighs as he watched the rise and fall of Peter's chest--seeing clearly how vulnerable the child is. Mary and him had already talked about the PR and the woman doesn't want Peter to grow up in the limelight and Tony shares the same sentiments. It was just the matter of safety and what's best for the kid.

"I won't let him grow up in my fucked up world, Rhodes." Tony muttered as he continue to watch Peter's peaceful face.

Tony knows how much the press could harm his kid--flashing lights, news after news, gossips here and there, the obligation to have the best reputation--all those burdens... Tony couldn't let his kid suffer the same fate as him.

"Then what are you going to do?" Rhodey asked.

"I'll cross the bridge when I get there," Tony answered back, not wanting to worry about anything right now but the well being of his kid.

\--

Months have passed and Peter was very much healthier now. The kid's free from bradycardia and acid reflux and he's not taking any medications but just vitamins to keep him healthy. The kid's four months old now and the kid was very much jolly, active and well, grabby--he would always grab Mary's hair, his father's collar and then it would land into his mouth. The kid also loved his toys--rattles, little stuffed bears and other toys that fascinates the kid.

And well, Tony was very much whipped.

"That's about the hundredth time you've dropped your rattle bambino, I'm pretty sure you're just playing with me now." Tony muttered as he crouched down to grab the rattle that Peter has been _purposely _dropping for minutes now. "Is it fun to watch me get it over and over again?"

Peter just replied with a very cute giggle as he stretched out his hand to get the rattle back into his hands.

"Promise me you won't drop it again, okay?" Tony asked, rattling the rattle so that it would make a sound and get the baby's attention, "If you drop this again, I'll take it and I won't give it back to you anymore."

Peter just answered with his babbles and Tony knew that his threats are probably falling on deaf ears since the baby couldn't possibly understand him yet but well, it was worth the shot cause his back is already aching from bending over and over again. But of course, if it's for his little baby, he'll be very much happy to do it again, yeah, maybe one more time but not more.

Peter just gurgles as he tries to take the rattle from Tony's grasp, "Alright, alright," Tony mumbles, chuckling at the cuteness of his baby, "Here you go, Petey-pie."

Tony gave the rattle back to the kid and not more than a second and just like he expected, Peter threw the rattle that left the kid laughing.

Tony just chuckles, shaking his head as he grabbed Peter's hand and kissed it, "You know kid, you're testing my patience." the man mumbles as he took the rattle again and decided not to give it back, "I told you Petey, I'm not giving it back to you once you drop it again."

Peter just giggles, not quiet understanding what his father meant and started closing and opening his fists in order to tell his father that he wants his toy back. But of course, Tony knew better than to give it back.

It took a moment before everything settled on the little kid's brain--when Peter realized that his father will not give the toy back, the kid started crying and right there and then, it made Tony guilty.

"And now you're making me guilty," Tony mumbles, chuckling lightly as he gave the rattle back to Peter, wanting for the kid to stop crying. But when Peter didn't accept it anymore and just continued crying, Tony knew that he just spoiled the kid's good mood. "Great, now my plan just backfired." the man mumbles to himself.

In months spent with his child, Tony knew how much a happy kid Peter is but he also found out that it only takes one thing, one moment for the baby's good mood to turn sour. He have had enough experience to know that this is another case where he just spoiled little Peter's mood. 

Tony just sighs as he took Peter from the chair and started rocking back and forth, "I'm sorry bambino," Tony muttered, "Daddy's been bad for not returning your toy," the man mumbles as he continued rocking Peter in his hand.

And the sweet baby just rested his head on top of Tony's shoulder as his cries taper down, the tiredness from giggling, grabbing, sitting and sleeping all day finally catching on the little kid's system.

"I bet you're going to tell mom about this, huh?" Tony chuckled, remembering his wife who has been out of their house the whole day--having to work overtime at the laboratory, "I'm pretty sure mommy misses you and your little giggles."

Tony sighs, as the adrenaline slowly left his body. The joy that he was feeling while spending all his time with Peter started drifting from his fingertips now that the kid's already conking out on him, and now, he just feels the longing for the wife he barely see nowadays.

It started on Peter's third month. Mary's work started demanding more from her and she started going home later than usual. The normal 8:00-3:00 PM work hours started getting delayed to 5:00 PM, 6:00 PM and now 9:00 PM--9:54 PM to be exact and Tony is still understanding about all these ordeal.

He still fully supports Mary in all of her endeavors--always waking up earlier just to catch his wife before she goes to work, waiting up during dinner time so that Mary will have someone to eat with, running the woman baths during the weekends every time the woman's just too tired from working.

Tony has been the best husband Mary could ever get and he will _always _wait for Mary--no matter how long. But he just hope that all the time wasted without Mary would be cut short and just, have Mary back home, even for just one single day.

That's all he asks. All he wants right now is a good time with Mary and Peter--just them and nothing else, even for just a single day.

** _From: THE WIFE_ **  
_I'll be home later tonight. Probably 11 or 12, I don't really know. Don't wait up for me and I'm sorry honey, I'll make it up to you. We're almost done with our experiment and when everything's done, I'm all yours! Rawr. I love you darling and tell my little Petey-pie that I love him too. Muah._  
_ **10:01 PM ; 12/02**__**/01**_

Tony just smiles at the last words, the longing slowly tapering into a somewhat manageable level. He just have to wait for two or three more hours--he could do that.

It's a small sacrifice he could do.

Tony decided to take the party in their room and just wait for Mary there. He rocked the child to sleep and waited.

And waited.

And waited, and daydreamed about the upcoming days that Mary just promised him with.

_We're almost done with our experiment and when everything's done, I'm all yours! _

He'll wait for that day--just a simple day in their house, laughing, watching movies and all, just like how it was.

_Just like how it was._

\--

"It's only three days, honey," Mary muttered, cupping Tony's cheeks as he gave his best puppy look at his wife, "Don't give me that look, Peter does that better than you, and you know it."

Tony finally smiles, taking Mary's hand as she pulled the woman closer to him, "I just wanted to give it a try," the man mutters, "Can I bargain for two days? Come on, give me the last day."

Mary just smiles as she gave Tony a peck on the lips, "You know that it doesn't work like that, honey," the woman answered back.

Tony sighs as he kissed Mary again as he pulled the woman into an embrace, "Three days are too long but fine, I guess I'll just have to endure it. But you need to message me all the damn time, okay?" the man asked and Mary just nods.

"I will always call." Mary assured her husband.

"I'm going to miss you," Tony mutters and Mary just nods her head, "I'll miss you too, and I'll miss Peter too."

"Stop with all these cheesiness, you're going to miss your flight Mary," Rhodey exclaimed when he entered the Stark's living room--taking in the hugging parents and Peter who was playing in his crib.

Tony just chuckles as he let Mary go, "Will you stop ruining our moments, platypus?" the man asked as he threw one of Peter's balls towards his best friend.

"Sorry, but it's kind of my job," Rhodey answered back, shrugging with a small smile in his face.

"Have fun with Peter," Mary finally said, "And oh, please stop letting him sleep so late. You know that you're the one who gets the punishment in the end."

Tony just nods, smiling, "Yeah, yeah, I'll rock him to sleep at exactly 8:00 PM."

Mary just smiles as she places yet another kiss on Tony, "I love you honey, I'll miss you." the woman then turns towards Peter and carried him, "And I'm going to miss you too Mr. Stinky-poo. Don't give your daddy a hard time, okay? I love you Petey-pie." Mary finally kisses Peter's cheeks.

Mary then gave the baby to Tony as they started getting ready to go outside. Rhodey and Happy helped Mary to load up her things while Tony stood outside the car with Peter in his arms. And when everything was finally loaded and Mary was ready to leave, Peter started crying.

"Goodbye Petey-pie, I'm sorry, please don't cry," Mary mutters, her heart breaking when she saw the now bawling Peter.

"Don't worry honey, I got this," Tony assured her and Mary just gave her a sad smile, reluctant to leave her husband and baby behind.

"I'll be back in no time," Mary said, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too honey so please call and message me, okay?"

"Okay," Mary smiles.

"I love you," Tony exclaimed while rocking Peter back and forth in an attempt to soothe the child.

"Bye, I love you too."

"_Bye_,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the story's pretty fast pacing but this is just a foundation for the main story of this series. And don't worry, you will still probably see what happened during the missing timelines in this story since I'm planning on posting "Peter's firsts" after this fic and that's basically all of Peter's firsts in the eyes of Tony and that is more on fluff rather than angst.
> 
> So yeah.
> 
> I'm also sorrry for posting so late since I have been busy and writing about pregnancy and kids is really hard since I still don't have any experience in that so please forgive me for all the inaccuracy and cringey things I've written.
> 
> But yeah, SPIDEY'S BACK IN THE MCU and I'm just happy.
> 
> I hope you guys liked my update and if you do, comment what you think coz I love hearing from you guys, okay?
> 
> Ciao ciao ♥
> 
> "1 Corinthians 13:13 - And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."


	5. Shattered heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter but the plot is still the same, just more heartwrenching because of how I described the pain that Tony felt.

Three days.

That's what Mary said when she left. Three days of work in Russia and then after that, Mary will be back home to finally make up for the times lost because of her work. She promised to give both her husband and son a quality time they deserve after all the overtime shifts and extended work hours that she had this past few weeks. She promised to finally stay home this Christmas and spend her time with Tony and Peter especially now that they'll be celebrating Peter's first holiday.

And Tony had been looking forward to this month to say the very least. He counted nights like a small child in his birth month, wanting to know when he'll finally have his presents and his birthday party. It seemed like the man was sent back to when he was still a child and still believed in the spirit of the holidays. He counted days, weeks, months for this time of the year--wanting nothing else but to have his wife back in the comfort of their homes and to just be lazy and do anything they wanted to do.

But then the promised three days stretched to a week until it stretched to another week that will certainly pass through the 25th of December, Christmas day.

"What do you mean you won't be home till the 27th?" Tony asked, completely surprised by the sudden news from his wife, "You told me you'll be home by the 20th, Mary. You said you'll be home before Peter's first Christmas!" the man has raised his voice now, his calm demeanor finally blown away by just one news.

"I know, I know honey," Mary sighs, "I'm really sorry but we need to extend another week in order to perfect our project. As much as I want to spend the Christmas with you and Peter, I just can't." the woman mutters.

"But you promised we'll spend the Christmas together--Peter's first Christmas! Honey, please, come home. I'll... I'll bring Happy there with the jet to get you. Just please, be home for Peter's first Christmas," Tony pleaded, wanting so hard for his wife to agree, "Please, Mary," the man added, complete throwing his pride away against the window.

The woman sighs, shaking her head on the other line, "Tony, I--" Mary was about to say something but then stopping when someone called her from the other end of the line, talking about something that Tony couldn't understand. Then finally, Mary talked again, "I'm sorry Tony. I really can't make it and it's just that..." Mary sighs yet again as she stopped what she was about to say, "I love you so much, I hope you know that. I need to go Tony, see you on the 27th," the woman continued, hanging up on her husband without even waiting to hear Tony's answer or even the man's goodbye.

"Mary--" Tony exclaimed but was met by the disconnecting tone.

The man sighs as he stares at the phone that he was holding.

All he wanted was to have a complete family this Christmas but he guess that that one simple thing is so difficult to get. Besides, Tony never really got to spend Christmas with his complete family--it was always him, his mother and his grandmother during the holidays. Though it's still fun with both the best women in his life, Tony still wonders what it's like to have Christmas with his complete family--him, his mom, his dad and his grandmother.

Tony placed his phone on top of their bed, the stress building up from the past days as he feels a headache forming in his head.

"Tony! Are you done with the phone?" Tony heard Rhodey shout from Peter's nursery room, "Peter's crying too much and I can't get him to stop." the man shouted again and true enough, Tony could clearly hear the loud wailing sounds his little baby is making.

The man sighs again as he stood up, making a beeline towards his child's room. The budding headache was completely tossed to the side as he pick his self up from the emotional turmoil that he was just in and went to Peter's room to soothe his crying child.

Tony entered Peter's room and took the kid from his best friend's arms. And almost instantly, the kid stopped crying when his father took him.

"I swear, your child really knows who his father is," Rhodey exclaimed, "I mean, how can he tell that you're his father? Like, isn't it too early for him to be recognizing people?" the man asked, expecting a sarcastic remark from his best friend.

But Tony just brushed the comment off as he took the baby bottle and gave it to his child, not having the energy to actually fool around, "Thanks for looking out for him Rhodes," Tony muttered, his usual charisma and sarcasm not oozing off him as he sat on Peter's bed to feed the child, taking note of the hours since his last feeding.

Rhodey's face blanked, "Are... are you okay?" the man asks, sensing the distress that was radiating off his best friend. Because Rhodey could definitely tell that something was wrong just by Tony's response, "Is it Mary? Did you guys fight about something?" he asks.

Tony just sighs as he stared at Peter's Bambi eyes in order to calm his erratic heart down, "She called to tell me that she's not coming home this Christmas." the man answers back, watching his child sadly as he remembers that his _bambino _will not have a prefect family this Christmas.

Tony tried telling his self that it wasn't a big deal, but when he remembered all the times he felt down and sad because his family was never complete during the holidays, he couldn't help but to feel bad towards Peter. He didn't want Peter to feel the same thing--he wanted nothing else but happiness for his child.

"But it's Peter's first Christmas," Rhodey muttered, completely understanding the issue even though his best friend didn't elaborate.

Tony sighs as he grabbed Peter's hands and kissed it, bathing himself with the kid's presence in order to mask the dread in his heart, "I know," the man answers back, "But she already made up her mind and said she'll be back on the 27th." Tony mutters.

"Yeah, but this is big deal, man." Rhodey exclaimed, "This is a milestone in Peter's life and you guys should be both present in that."

Tony sighs yet again, "It's fine," he answers back, placing another peppery kiss on his child but this time on top of Peter's head, "Besides, Peter won't even remember this since he's too young to even know what's going on. We still have the next Christmas to celebrate and I'm pretty sure she'll make up for all the times she lost." the man defended, not having the heart to tell what he's really feeling as of the moment. Tony didn't want to make a bad picture of Mary and at the same time, he still wanted to cling into that hope that his wife will finally spend some more time with him and Peter, "We'll have a bonding time after all her work is done." Tony said.

The man wanted to believe what he just said but at the back of his head, he knew that Mary was bound to break another of her promises.

\--

Tony was probably wrong to assume that Mary was going to break another of her promise. Because after the scuffle that happened last Christmas, everything went back to normal--well as normal as it could get.

The woman started staying at home more especially on the weekends, spending her time with both Tony and Peter. The woman also tried to go home earlier but of course sometimes, she just couldn't help but to still be late. But Tony was thankful for the small improvements when it comes to Mary's schedules just like right now, because finally, Mary has no work to do and she's finally staying at home.

And even though it saddens Tony that he's the one that needed to work that day, he's just happy that Mary will finally get to spend a time with their child. He's contented enough to know that Peter will have the chance to grow closer to his mother because he fully knows that the baby needs it. Because as much as Tony takes pride being Peter's favorite human in his six months of life, he still wanted for Mary to make it into Peter's list and be his second favorite human--Tony could definitely share. Besides, Mary should really make up for all the times she missed because if she doesn't, Tony doesn't know what to even think or feel anymore.

"Come on, darling, please stop crying," Mary mumbles as she tries her hard to console the bawling little Peter.

The kid has been crying for minutes now and his mother just don't know what to do. Peter and Mary were left home since Tony needed to attend an important meeting back in Stark Industries. It was fairly good in the first hours--Mary bathe Peter, changed his clothes and diaper and the woman played with the baby. The last four hours was a bliss but now, everything just went down the drain. Peter started crying when Mary placed the kid on his high chair, getting ready for Peter's feeding time.

"Hey, Petey-pie, what's the matter?" Mary asked as she continued rocking Peter but it seems like the kid just want to cut his mother's ears off.

Mary was inexperienced to say the very least. The woman never really spent this much time with Peter before, you know, alone. The longest alone time she ever spent with Peter was when she would look out for the kid while Tony takes a bath during the morning and at night, and usually, those baths only take almost an hour. The other times she spent time with Peter, it was always with Tony, Rhodey, Pepper or Happy--never alone, she never spent a long alone time with her child before so this is fairly new.

"Come on, Petey, please help me with this," Mary muttered as she tried giving one of Peter's toys to the kid, wanting for Peter to stop crying, but sadly, the bribe never worked.

"Dadadadadada!" the kid exclaimed, crying his eyes out as he reaches out for the door behind Mary--the same door where his father had gone just this morning.

Peter started babbling and talking when he was five months old so it wasn't fairly new. The first time Peter uttered a word, Mary was not around--just like the kid's other firsts. It was Tony who witnessed it all and he's glad he did because well, the kid's very first words were the same ones he just uttered.

Dada.

Daddy.

Tony.

Mary sighs, knowing full well that Peter has probably remembered his father, "I know, I know. Daddy's coming back home soon, darling. You just got to wait a little longer." the woman cooed, bouncing Peter up and down to try and soothe the child. 

"Dadadadada!" Peter continued to wail, wanting to be back to the comfort of his father.

The wails and cries went on for minutes, probably an hour until the door opened and Peter almost stilled, watching with his eyes if his favorite person in the world is back. But when he saw that it wasn't Tony, the child continued crying.

"Pepper?" Mary asked when the red-head entered the house together with Happy.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, you guys must be disappointed," the woman chuckled, "Well, Tony's going to be late this afternoon so he sent me to help you with Peter. Tony knows how the kid might be missing him and giving you a hard time." Pepper answered back, smiling.

Mary finally sighed to see someone who could help her soothe the child because she already did everything to stop the baby from bawling his eyes out. She tried rocking him back and forth, she tried giving Peter all of his toys, she tried distracting the kid with nursery rhymes that Tony always plays whenever the kid's getting his diaper changed, she tried everything and nothing was just getting Peter to stop. "That's great, cause Peter's been crying for minutes now. I couldn't have him to stop." the woman muttered as she rocks the child in his arm.

Pepper just smiles as she placed her things on top of the couch in order to carry the child, "Hey Petey-pie, looks like you've been giving your mommy a hard time, huh?" Pepper asked and almost instantly, the child's cries dies into small whimpers.

"Dadadada," the child babbled and quickly inclined towards Pepper, wanting for the woman to hold him.

Pepper just smiles as she turns to Mary, "Should I carry him?" Pepper asks and all Mary could do was nod, completely shocked that his child would want Tony's assistant more than her. "Hey, Petey-poo, I'm pretty sure you miss your daddy, huh?" Pepper cooed as she took the child from Mary's grip, Peter's whimpers finally dying down, "Don't worry, daddy's coming home soon enough. Now, have you eaten?" the red-head asked the child but turning towards Mary to get her answer.

"Uhm, uhh, I haven't had the chance to feed him. He started crying when I put him on the high chair." Mary answers back, unsure of what to do.

"Oh, that's why," Pepper mused as she went towards the dining room to feed Peter while Mary tailed her, "Tony always bond with Peter over meals so I'm pretty sure Peter knew that it should've been Tony that feeds him." the woman muttered as she tried to place the child on his high chair but just like what she said, Peter started crying again, knowing full well that it has always been his father who feeds him during meal time--the kid was a little genius just like his father. "See?" Pepper asked as she carried Peter again, "What Happy and I do whenever we babysit is to take Peter in our lap and feed him from there. It's a bit more messy but at least, he's not bawling his eyes out." Peter finally stops crying, getting settled in Pepper's lap, just a few small whimpers coming out of his lips. "And if ever he won't stop crying, it's always Tony who gets him to stop."

"Oh," Mary mumbles, completely unfazed with what she's seeing. The woman stared at Pepper, feeling a sense of jealousy to see Tony's assistant knowing more about Peter than her.

At the back of Mary's head, she knows that this was part of her fault. She's never really home to spend time with her child since she's always out and about. It's either she's working all day or she's working outside the country--hell, the woman even missed Peter's first Christmas and she really regretted that. But what can she do, being a geneticist was a full time job especially now that she's working for a grand company that operates all over the world. So she should probably know that not knowing anything about Peter is her fault and she shouldn't blame anyone for that--certainly not the red-head who's just really concerned for the boy.

But the woman refuses to acknowledge her shortcomings as she quickly took Peter from Pepper's grasp, shocking both the child and the red head, "Uh, thanks for the help but I can take it from here." Mary muttered as she carried the child into her arms, refusing to look at Pepper.

"Uhm, uh, yeah, sure," Pepper muttered, completely surprised with what just happened and also sensing a small tension building up in the air.

Peter started crying again when she was out of Pepper's grasp but Mary wasn't fazed by it as she took a seat and started feeding the child even though Peter was clearly not having any of it.

"Peter, stop crying." Mary muttered, her voice void of any emotion, "Mommy's going to feed you, okay?" the woman added as she started bouncing Peter up and down on her lap and started feeding the child.

Pepper was surprised as to what she was seeing because Peter's cries was seriously heart-wrenching and she wanted nothing else but to stop it. But the woman also know when or when not to step on her boundaries. And as much as Pepper wants to stop the child's cries, she doesn't want to upset Mary any longer so she just sighed in disbelief.

"Uhm, I, uhh, Happy and I will be at the living room." Pepper mumbled, "C-call us when you need us, uhh, yeah," the woman ended as she finally left the dining room, Peter's wails being her background music as she left.

It has been minutes now and Pepper could still hear the occasional cries and hiccups that comes from Peter. The child's probably too exhausted to bawl his eyes out so he just simply cries occasionally and it was breaking both Happy and Pepper's heart to hear it.

"I think you should call boss now," Happy whispered as they continue listening at Peter's cries from the playroom on the first floor, "The kid's having an asthma attack with how much he's crying."

"Peter doesn't have an asthma, Happy," Pepper muttered as she drank a glass of water for the umpteenth time from the last few minutes, "And Tony's probably on his way home now. You know he doesn't sit well when he's away from Peter."

"I guess we're toast now when Tony sees Peter crying and we're not doing anything to help." Happy mumbles anxiously.

The two never really feared their boss. Tony is the most high-maintenance boss but he's also the most caring and loving boss they could ever ask for. But it's just really breaking their heart to listen to Peter's cries and Mary's lack of enthusiasm to calm the kid down.

"Mary doesn't want us to help so we couldn't do anything but sit here and wait for Tony." Pepper answers back, trying so hard to calm herself before anything goes out of hand. The red-head grips the glass in her hands as she let out a calming breath because everything that happened a few moments ago just keeps on replaying at the back of her head.

Peter crying. Mary not being able to calm the child. Pepper and Happy trying numerous time to help. And Mary turning them down every time they offer their help.

Happy sighs, "Fine, we're going to wait for Tony but if--"

The man never finished what he was about to say when the door finally opened, revealing an exhausted Tony, "That meeting was so boring, I almost slept there," the man quipped, chuckling as he placed his bag on top of the couch and quickly removed his coat, "So where's my little Petey-pie?" the man asked as he removes his watch next.

Happy and Pepper didn't dare say a word as they just looked down, not knowing what to do as Peter's cries started to get louder.

Tony's smile immediately vanished when he heard it. The man never really liked when his baby cries--it just breaks his heart into pieces and would do anything to stop it. "Why is he crying?" Tony asks as he turned towards the two who was looking so guilty.

The man just sighs as he made a beeline towards the sound of the cries--wanting nothing more but to soothe his child. Tony arrived in Peter's playroom and found the child being rocked by Mary while the woman was on the phone. And when Mary saw Tony, the woman immediately gave the kid to his father and quickly left the playroom as she went to their bedroom.

"Mary--" Tony called as Peter's cries finally dies down now that he knew that his father was the one holding him.

"Dadaddada,"

"I got to take this call Tony," Mary muttered as she left.

Tony sighs as she watch Mary's back retreating from him. The billionaire had tried to be understanding as much as he could. He would always turn a blind eye whenever Mary is on her phone talking to who knows who. He would always smile halfheartedly as he watch his wife leave for another business meeting outside the country. He would always tune out the negative thoughts invading his mind whenever he questions if what's happening in their relationship is right. And right now, the only thing keeping the man sane is the little bundle of joy that he's carrying--the kid whose laughs that always brightens Tony's moods, the kid whose babbles and nonsensical words making Tony smile as his heart swells in delight. But it's only a matter of time when enough becomes enough.

Tony decided to finally talk to Mary this evening. They will have a word with Mary's time management because this ain't it.

Peter hiccups, making Tony snap out of his reverie as he turns towards his kid, "I'm sorry _tesoro_, dad's been out for too long, huh?" the man mumbles as he inhales the familiar scent of Peter to ground him--the smell of pillows and milk.

Tony nestled Peter in his chest, the kid's head leaning on the man's shoulder as they went back towards the living room, "I don't know about you two but it seems like the kid's been crying for a while now." Tony mutters, trying hard to calm himself because just by listening to Peter's hiccups, Tony instantly knew that it has been a long time now since the kid has been crying.

"Yeah, uhh, uhm," Pepper mumbles, trying so hard not to say anything--not wanting to rat on Mary.

"Yeah, what?" Tony asks impatiently, "Did you guys even feed the kid?"

"I fed him," someone spoke, not letting Pepper and Happy answer for themselves. "Peter just wasn't into me, you know how he gets, honey," Mary muttered, descending from the stairs.

Happy and Pepper just looks at each other as they kept quiet.

"Oh, is that so?" Tony asks, looking towards his wife.

"Welcome back home, darling," Mary muttered as she kissed Tony on his lips, shocking everyone but Mary because the woman's never really a fan of kissing publicly specifically lip kisses.

"Oh uh, uhm, yeah thanks," Tony mutters as he gestured the two to leave in order to avoid the awkwardness, "Happy, Pep, thanks for helping Mary, I'll see you guys tomorrow." the man mumbles and the two just nods as they left, but not before sparing a glace towards Tony's wife.

Tony wished he paid more attention to those things but he should probably blame Peter for puking on his Tom Ford suit, the reason why he never gave any attention to the early signs.

"Oh mimmo," Tony cooed as he stare at the kid who was blinking innocently at him with barf all over Peter's face and a few tears leaking from his eyes.

\--

It was on Peter's seventh month when Tony started noticing more odd things regarding his wife. Frequent lash-outs, frequent mood-swings, frequent small fights, frequent over-times, frequent late night works and well, frequent bathroom tours for about ten minutes while the woman thought that Tony was sleeping.

At first, he brushed it off, making up excuses in his head that Mary probably has loads of works to do and is tired or maybe their works are finally being finished and all the late night works and overtimes are probably to finally finish whatever they're working on. But tonight was completely out of the blue--one minute every thing was okay and the next, Mary started blabbering nonsense.

"You know, I'm kind of not feeling Pepper these days," Mary started while cleaning up Peter's toys at the kid's playroom on the first floor--the woman was tidying up bears, rattles, bottles and forgotten onesies.

Tony furrowed his brows at the sudden comment, looking back at his wife then back to the kid who was sprawled in his play mat, eating his toes as he stares at his father, "Pepper?" Tony asks, "What do you mean?" he added.

Mary shrugs nonchalantly, "I don't know, I'm just not loving her presence here in the mansion." the woman muttered, making Tony's frown deepen, "She acts like she owns the place and all, she acts like she's the mother of my kid and Peter always turn to her rather than me."

The sudden accusation caused Tony's heart to beat a little faster, not liking where this was going, "It's because the kid likes Pepper and he sees her almost everyday, that's pretty much the reason why the kid turns to her." the man reasoned out, not wanting to compare Pepper and his wife because there's no really reason to do any of that.

"Well, yeah, that's kind of the problem." Mary mutters as she places the bears in order in one of Peter's drawers and what was unnerving Tony is the fact that his wife looks so unconcerned and so casual talking about Pepper, "I don't really get why she needs to stay in the mansion for almost everyday while I'm on a different place, working. You know, I'm pretty much surprised the paparazzi's aren't making any issues out of these because I'm pretty sure they're always in the neighborhood lurking."

Tony's mouth was agape, surprised by the words that his wife was spewing because he clearly knows where this is going, "What the hell are you saying?" the man asked, trying hard to keep his calm from the incoming accusation that he is sure to come.

Peter started whining so the man quickly took the child into his arms as he stood up from the play mat, eyeing his ever so nonchalant wife.

"I don't know," Mary answered back incredulously, "What I'm saying is, I want her fired."

That got Tony's ears ringing, a sudden rage occupying the spaces of his chest as he looks at his wife with such surprise and disbelief, "Where is this coming from, Mary?" Tony asks, "You want me to fire the only woman I trust beside from you? Because of what? Tell me, tell me why you want her fired." the man added, trying so hard not to lash out especially that he has Peter in his arms.

"I don't know, maybe because of the fact that Peter knows her more than me? Maybe because you're playing house with that secretary of yours and you guys probably love to pretend playing like Peter is your child while his true mother is out there, working!" Mary exclaimed, her voice raising higher and higher until she finished her outburst, "I want her fired because I know that you're cheating on me while I'm on work!"

The woman was full on shouting now, making Peter whine as the kid grew restless. While Tony stood there, surprised by the sudden outburst of Mary. Because fuck, how can she accuse him of something like that? Was it because of his past reputation? Or is it because he failed as a husband? Tony don't know and right now, he just feels utterly helpless.

Because the man surely knows that he did his best for Mary and Peter. He did everything in his power to provide everything for his family.

Everyday he would wake up early just to catch his wife before leaving for work. Everyday he would bury his sadness and longing for his wife. Everyday he would tear himself in half just to tend to their baby and to finish inventing things for Stark Industries at the same fucking time. Everyday Tony would wait for Mary, wondering what time his wife would come home. Everyday, Tony feels like he's losing himself more and more just so Mary and Peter could be complete.

And now, Mary's accusing him of cheating?

"Never accuse me of cheating," Tony muttered, his eyes hard as he held Peter in his chest--the kid giving him some warmth and blanket of security as he stares at his wife, "Pepper is my assistant and she's the only person I trust with anything regarding Stark Industries and my affair. That woman is nothing but my secretary and friend. And in case you forgot, Pepper never came here without Happy so I don't see any grounds for your accusation," Tony answered back, sounding so calm and collected but inside, he just wanted to burst in rage with even just the thought of Mary thinking of him as a cheater after everything that he had sacrificed for this family.

"Well, I don't know, maybe Happy's an accomplice." Mary muttered, shrugging.

Tony sighs, his breaths coming in short pants as he tries so hard not to lose his cool. "Stop all these nonsense, Mary," the man muttered as he left the playroom, wanting to avoid any kind of confrontation because the last thing he wants is to have a full on fight with Mary.

Mary chuckles sarcastically as she follows her husband, "Well look who's guilty, avoiding me and all!" Mary exclaimed.

"I'm not talking about this because this is a complete nonsense! Nonsense, you hear me?" Tony asked, his voice raising a little bit higher as he rocks Peter in his chest, "Pepper and Happy have worked for me for years now and they're basically my friends so don't start with that."

Mary huffs, "You fire those two or I'm leaving," the woman threatened that caused Tony to turn towards his wife, completely shocked by how much this fight was turning to the worst.

"No one is leaving Mary! Not Pepper, not Happy and certainly not you!" Tony was now shouting, making Peter cry in his arms. But the man was just so lost in his emotions that he doesn't even recognize the crying baby, "If you're upset because of Pepper knowing more things about Peter or Peter wanting Pepper more than you, well, maybe you should ask yourself why and not blame other people!"

"Oh, so this is about me now, huh?!"

"This has always been about you! You, your work, your fucking schedules, that Richard fucking Parker!"

"Now the truth came out!" Mary shouted back, "You're cheating on me because you're still not over the fact that I am working with my ex?! What is this? A fucking revenge?!"

"The fuck Mary!" Tony shouted back, rage completely eating him, "This isn't about you or your fucking ex! This is about you wanting to fire my long time friends and workers just because you're insecure!" Tony exclaimed, "And for the last time, I am not cheating on you! You're the one who's always out and working your ass off with that fucking Parker! I barely even see you! And our kid probably doesn't even know that you're his mother because you won't fucking spend a single time with him!"

"Stop talking about Richard, this isn't about us!"

"Oh, isn't it?!" Tony challenged, "For all I know you're the one who's cheating on my back with that geneticist fucking Parker! Tell me Mary, was your overtime really true or was it because of that Park--" the man wasn't able to finish what he's about to say when he felt a palm landing against his cheek.

"What the fuck are you two doing?!" Rhodey shouted, surprised as he quickly walked towards his best friend and immediately took the crying Peter away from his father. And that was the only time when Tony realized that Peter has been crying the whole time.

And the moment Tony realized what happened, the anger started dissipating from his system and was now being replaced by disappointment--disappointment towards himself.

"This is a family matter, Rhodey, don't stick your nose in our business." Mary blurted out, not wanting Tony's best friend to mix in the fight.

"Well it is my business when you guys are fighting in front of my godson!" Rhodey exclaimed as he tried soothing the now bawling Peter in his arms, "If you guys want to shout at each other's ears and slap each other's faces then don't fucking do it in front of Peter!" the man exclaimed, "So yeah, I will stick my nose in this because you guys are about to kill the kid."

Rhodey quickly took Peter in his arms as he went straight upstairs, wanting Peter to be out of ear-shot while the kid's parents continue their fight. Because there is nowhere in hell he'll just watch on the sideline and watch Peter cry while his parents are arguing about who knows what.

But while descending the stairs, Rhodey was able to hear Mary's last words, "If you're not firing your mistress and your accomplice, then I'm not fucking returning in this hellhole."

Rhodey didn't pry any longer as he took Peter in his room, wanting the child to sleep, "I'm so sorry this is happening Pete," the man muttered towards his godson, sighing as he continue to hear the loud voices from outside Peter's doors, "I don't know why their fighting but I will make sure that nothing gets out of hand."

The night has been long and it had exhausted Tony to say the very least but he was thankful that Rhodey was there to break up the fight and to knock some sense into the both of them. Because if his best friend didn't intervene, Tony was sure that Peter would've been caught in the middle of the fight--which actually happened.

"I can't believe you guys fought in front of Peter!" Rhodey exclaimed in disbelief as he roamed anxiously inside Tony's workshop while Tony on the other hand was sitting in one of his chairs, self-pitying.

"I know, it's just... our fight escalated quickly." Tony answers back as he runs his calloused hand on his goatee.

Rhodey snorted, "Yeah, that's a valid excuse," the man answered back sarcastically, "Where's Mary anyway? Did she really leave?"

Tony sighs yet again, feeling a sense of relief in his chest remembering that Mary is not leaving after his numerous apologies and appeals, "She's not," the man answers back, "I calmed her after you took Peter. I... I told her I'll fire Pepper and Happy."

"And you will?!" Rhodey asked, completely surprised.

"Of course not!" Tony muttered defensively, "I can't do that to them."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Pepper and Happy shouldn't come to the house in the meantime. They'll be working on SI and not personally with me. It's just temporary... as soon as I prove to Mary that I am not cheating on her with Pepper, everything's going back to normal." Tony answers back, shaking his head.

Rhodey sighs as he eyes his best friend with sad eyes, "Why did she even think about that?" the man asks and all Tony could say was_ 'I don't know.'_

\--

The past few weeks had been hard for the Stark family. Tony spent all those days trying to prove to Mary that he loves no one else but her. He also talked to both Pepper and Happy and explained to them the whole situation. And thankfully, his two friends understood the situation and was very much willing to do anything to lessen Mary's anger towards them.

Mary on the other hand avoids Tony as best as she can but when the third day came, she couldn't help but to finally acknowledge her husband and to be civil about everything. And from then on, Tony did everything in his power to show Mary that he loves her. He makes breakfast for Mary, he waits for the woman during dinner even though Mary usually comes home past 11PM, he drives Mary to her work whenever he could and he never contacted Pepper unless it concerns Stark Industries.

And everything was getting better. The whole situation lasted for about a month--with Tony trying his hardest to please his wife, with Tony trying to court his wife again even though they are already married.

Tony didn't mind one bit because at the very least, he was able to spend longer time with Mary. And he wonders why he never did this back when Mary was starting out her work. Maybe if he did this back then, then maybe, he could've avoided the fight that they had a month ago. And maybe.... maybe this was all Tony's fault.

_Maybe, it was me. _Tony thought.

Tony has been rethinking all his life choices for the past month that led to this very moment. He kept thinking about the what if's and the maybe's and by the end of the day, Tony finds himself blaming himself for all the things that went wrong along the way. Because he was sure that this was all his fault....

... until it wasn't.

\--  
Peter's eighth month came and it was when Tony started seeings things more than what Mary wants him to see. It was on Peter's eighth month when the beautiful reality he once knew started crumbling like a sandcastle being washed away by the waves on the beach. It was on Peter's eighth month when Tony realized that his reality doesn't seems like the truth. It was on Peter's eighth month that Tony realized that everything in his life for the past few months has been a lie. 

It was a beautiful Friday morning. Tony had a great sleep the other night since Peter slept for the whole eight hours without waking up. Tony was also greeted by his wife's beautiful smile as soon as he woke up and another beautiful smile from his son when he came to pick his kid up. It was a wonderful, wonderful morning and Tony felt like nothing could ruin his morning anymore.

To be honest, Tony was actually pretty excited to go to Stark Industries today to finalize the project that he has been working on for the past few months--see? This morning was just really perfect. He's excited since finalizing means perfecting the project and perfecting means ending the project and ending means break and of course, break means more family time and well, more cuddle times with his little baby back home.

However, it was also that Friday morning when Tony was welcomed by an envelope on top of his desk and a very much worried Pepper waiting for him in his office. And with just one look from Pepper, he already knew that his morning was about to be spoiled.

"What's with the look?" Tony asked, his brows furrowing as he eyes the envelope on top of his desk.

"I bought the pictures from some paparazzi so that they won't publish it anymore. I also had them write an NDA." Pepper muttered that caused Tony's brows to clash because what kind of pictures are those that needed to be bought and needed to issue an NDA.

"What is this?" Tony asked as he took the brown envelope and opened it.

"You should see for yourself," Pepper muttered, "I'll be outside when you need me," the woman ended as she left.

Tony was clueless as to what the envelope's contents are but he can't help but to feel his heart beating fast against his chest as he opens the envelope. And once he did, he felt his heart stopping altogether as he stared at the stack of pictures in front of him.

Pictures of Mary and Richard greeted Tony. The two meeting in several occasions--others were taken during morning, others were during the night. It was a collection of different days judging from the different clothes worn.

And at that moment, Tony felt numb--he was shocked but at the same time, hurt. Nothing was making sens--because why? Why were there tons of pictures of them? The billionaire doesn't know the answer to that, but what he was sure of was the feeling of his heart constricting in his chest--the feeling of his heart being wrung like a cloth, his heart being shattered as he continue to look at the variety of pictures in front of him.

It was painful, certainly--to see your wife be with someone else, to see your wife meet with his ex in numerous occasions without you knowing--Tony would've understand if it was pictures taken in their work but no, it was pictures taken in the park, pictures taken in restaurants, pictures taken with their faces covered as if they were hiding from everyone.

Tony can now feel the pain all over his body--the shock, the pounding in his heart, everything was just swirling into some monster Tony knew would devour his heart. Every beat, every thud of his heart felt like it was close to stopping.

He didn't know what happened next but the next thing he knew, he was calling for Pepper.

"Pepper," Tony called.

The red head quickly entered the office, expecting to see an angry Tony or maybe a crying Tony. Pepper was very much ready to console, to comfort, anything she could do to ease whatever Tony was feeling but what she wasn't ready for was to be greeted by an _eerily _calm Tony.

"Y-yes Tony?" Pepper asked, unsure--it was like she was stepping on uncharted waters, not knowing if the man would suddenly shout, not knowing if Tony would cry any second but the billionaire's calm demeanor didn't faze as he met Pepper's eyes hauntingly.

"Burn these," Tony commanded, his voice void of any emotions, "Make sure no one else sees them and whatever it was, it stays between us." the man muttered as he left his own office, slamming the door on his way out.

Tony needed to breathe, he just wasn't sure if he could.

It was on Sunday that week when Tony decided that he would forget everything that he have seen. It wasn't painstakingly hard especially when the man loves Mary so much--so much that he believes that Mary will never--in a million years--hurt him.

But he shouldn't have assumed because assuming leads to disappointment and disappointment causes pain.

_ **Strike one.** _

\--

Another week passed and Tony basically did forget what he have seen in his office. All the pictures he have seen was covered by Mary's constant presence in their home--being home early, no overtimes, no out of the country works. It was great and Tony was just very much happy to see Mary at home, spending time with Peter, spending time with him--he couldn't ask for anything more.

Today, the billionaire decided to pick Mary up from her work for the very first time. Mary never really liked being picked up after work by Tony since the paparazzi always gets into them so she usually like Happy driving her home. But now that Happy was out of the equation, Mary usually just commutes or take a taxi on her way back home. But today was a special day, the man wanted to surprise Mary in a private dinner with Peter.

Well, to be honest, nothing was special about today. It was just, Tony wanted to spend more quality time with his family and he just came up with the idea and got along with it.

The billionaire rented a whole ass restaurant and got the staff sign an NDA especially that they have Peter with them. And Tony certainly doesn't want the press to know anything about Peter as of the moment. He will continue to protect Peter's privacy as much as he can.

Right now, Tony was driving on the way to Mary's work with Peter sitting in his car seat, behaving perfectly. Well, Peter doesn't actually have any problems sitting alone at the back of the car--the kid usually loves watching the scene from his window and just finds everything interesting.

"Bababbabaaladadada," Peter was babbling and Tony was sure it was because he was excited to see the passing scene in front of him again.

"Are you excited to be finally out of the house for the first time this month? Huh Petey?" Tony asked as he looks through the rear-view mirror to look at his kid.

"Dadadadadda," Peter babbles again while sitting comfortably in his seat, his hands gripping his favorite rattle as he gobbles on it, coating the whole rattle with his saliva.

"Yeah, that's right Petey-pie, we're going to see your mommy!" Tony beamed as he finally parked his car in front of Mary's work laboratory. "We'll wait here until mommy comes out of that door! It's five minutes till the end of her shift so we just need to wait a little longer, okay Petey?" Tony asked but of course, Peter just ignored his father--completely lost in the magical world of his favorite rattle.

Tony smiles fondly as he stares at his kid, "I don't know why that's your favorite toy _tesoro_," Tony mumbled as he watch Peter play with the very boring rattle, "I mean, what does it do rather than make a sound?" the man mused as he smiles yet again.

"Bababababababa," Peter continues to babbles, not making any sense for his father.

"Yeah, right, I'm sorry," Tony mutters, "Sorry to offend you. Yeah, that rattle is the best toy in the world, _tesoro_. I take back what I said." the man smiles, talking like he really understood what his baby had just said. "I just hope that rattle keeps you occupied as we wait for you mom," Tony added, smiling again.

Tony and Peter waited for Mary to come out of the laboratory for minutes but no matter how long they waited, Mary never came out of the building.

"Hmm," Tony mumbles as he stares at his watch, noting that it has already been twenty minutes now since they have been waiting for Mary. And Peter was already sleeping on his car seat, his toy rattle completely forgotten on his side, "It's been twenty minutes now," the man mumbles to himself as he sighs, eyeing the door of the laboratory and the guard guarding the door.

"Jarvis," Tony called.

"Yes sire," Jarvis answered back--the AI installed on Tony's car.

"Keep an eye on Peter. I'll be gone for just a moment. Report to me if ever he wakes up or what ever happens, okay?" Tony asked, "I'll just be out in a minute."

It was against Tony's desire to leave Peter alone in the car but he trusts that the AI will take care of Peter while he's away.

Tony immediately ran towards the guard and quickly asked, "Uhm, excuse me," Tony muttered, making the guard turn his way, "Is Mary Stark still working? Is she working over time?" 

"Mrs. Stark?" the guard asked, puzzled, "She didn't come in this morning since she doesn't have any work for today."

"No work?" Tony asked, surprised, "Are... you sure?" he added.

"Yes sir, in fact, she doesn't have any work for tomorrow too. The people working here today and tomorrow are interns only."

Tony felt his heart plummeting to the ground, as he stares back at the building in front of him and then quickly jogging back towards the car, not being able to thank the guard for the information.

He was shocked, surprised and well... confused because he remembers Mary telling him that she have work today and tomorrow too--in fact, she said she'll be working overtime tomorrow until 10PM. And now, the man doesn't know what to believe anymore.

"Jarvis," Tony called as soon as he arrived inside the car.

"Yes sir," Jarvis replied.

"Call Pepper, tell her to cancel the reservation." Tony muttered, massaging his head as he feels a budding headache, "And drive me home, I don't have any strength left to drive."

"Yes sir," Jarvis replied back.

Tony couldn't make sense of what was happening because he just couldn't believe that Mary lied to him.

It was during the night when Mary came back home, "Hey darling, how's your day?" Mary asked as soon as she arrived home. The woman walked towards Tony and kissed his lips, "I missed you so much, honey," Mary muttered, smiling at Tony.

"I missed you too," Tony answers back.

It was during midnight when Tony assumed that the guard probably just made a mistake and the information he told Tony was probably wrong. He then decided that what happened today was nothing but a mistake and he shouldn't think that Mary is lying to him because just like what he said--Mary will _never_, ever hurt him.

_ **Strike two.** _

\--

The next day, Tony drove off their mansion, tailing Mary's taxi as she left for work. The man doesn't know why he was following his wife but what he does know was that he badly wanted the answers to the questions lingering constantly in his head.

_Why did Mary have tons of pictures with Richard in several occasions that he doesn't know of?_

_Where did Mary go yesterday when she doesn't have any work as per the information provided to him by the laboratory's guard?_

_Where is Mary going now if she doesn't have any work?_

_Why is Mary lying to him?_

_Is Mary lying to him?_

_How did their marriage turn into this suspecting, unhealthy relationship?_

_What went wrong in his end?_

_Is this his own fault?_

There were tons of questions in his head and he wants nothing more but to answer it. He didn't got any shuteye last night because of the horrible thoughts swirling in his head. And he just wanted to know if this is--by any chance, his fault. Because if it is, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for ruining Peter's chance of having a complete family.

Tony followed his wife until finally, the taxi stopped in front of the restaurant that he reserved yesterday and Mary went down the taxi as she entered the place. The billionaire just parked his car in front of the restaurant, watching like a hawk as he eyes his wife walking towards a very familiar man--Richard.

The billionaire spent minutes in there, watching Mary with her ex--talking, eating, drinking. And he didn't know why he did because as he watches his wife, he couldn't help but to feel his heart break every time--every talk, every smile, every words exchanged--it broke Tony's heart. And when he thought that he has already seen the worst, the pain started to explode in his chest as he watches what happened next.

And right there and then, Tony wished he never followed Mary, then maybe, he can still have the guts to deny every evidence popping out of nowhere for the past few weeks. He wished he never followed Mary just so he could spare himself from what he's seeing right now. He wished he just understood everything and just asked his wife about her work and ask why she lied to him yesterday.

He wished he never followed Mary just so he wouldn't be right here, in his car, watching his wife kiss his ex in a fancy restaurant.

Tony wished he never found out about this fucking truth just so Peter could still have a complete family as he grows up because Tony could definitely choke on his own cries and just put up with whatever Mary has to offer. He can do anything for his child even if it meant that he will live with a cheater inside his house, pretending like nothing ever happened, pretending that his heart never got shattered.

It hurt, bad.

The man can feel every nerves in his body raging like fire in anger. The man can feel his head pounding in his skull painfully. The man can feel the painful beat of his heart--the painful squeezing, the painful thudding.

It hurt so bad.

And right there and then, Tony Stark wept.

Tony went home that night, not waiting for Mary anymore, but instead, the man decided to stay in Peter's room and sleep there--seeking comfort, seeking validation, seeking love.

"Don't worry _bambino_," Tony whispered with tears streaming down his face as he rocks Peter in his arms, "I'll make sure you still have a mom when you grow up." he _promised_.

_ **Strike three, and you're out.** _

\--

A month has passed since Tony found out that Mary was cheating and in that one month, Tony sucked up all the pain, all the heartaches he badly wanted to let out. Tony swallowed his pride and let out the most fake smile he could ever muster in order to pretend like nothing's wrong--he kisses his wife like he couldn't taste the vile mouth of that fucking Parker, he makes breakfast for Mary even if he can't even stomach looking at his wife, he talks to Mary like everything's fine and like he never saw Mary and Richard kissing in a restaurant.

For a whole month, Tony felt like he was walking on broken glass in his own home. For a whole month, the billionaire felt like his heart was being squeezed to the point of not being able to breathe. For a whole month, the genius accepted the life and reality he has now.

He's very much ready to live a life of unending pain and constant heart aches just so he could protect Peter from his first heartbreak. He was ready to live a life of being a prisoner to his own emotions in order for Peter to continue having a complete family.

He was ready to sacrifice everything just so Peter's life could be complete.

But it was on Peter's ninth month when Tony wasn't able to do anything but to accept the reality.

The reality that he doesn't own Mary Fitzpatrick's heart anymore.

The reality that his once happy life was now darkness and storms.

The reality that Peter will never grow up having a mother to love him, a mother to take care of him and a mother who will define love for him.   
  
  
  
  
  


It was a gloomy Saturday morning when he woke up and Mary wasn't beside him anymore.

Mary Fitzpatrick left, carrying with her the light that was once a constant in the Stark family.   
  
  
  
  


Mary left Tony and Peter.   
  
  
  


She left them with no words of goodbye, no explanation, no last 'I love you'.   
  
  


Mary left her boys with nothing but a note.

and it said,  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_"I'm sorry."_

And it was the only moment that Tony let himself break, wailing so hard as he clutched his shattered heart, wondering if he will ever be complete again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before you all kill me, know that this has been my plan ever since I started writing this series. I really meant for Mary to cheat on Tony and leave her son and husband alone. What happens next is the main plot of this series and a couple of other things ;) you guys gotta wait for the next chapter to truly know the very plotline of this series!
> 
> And I'm sorry if this chapter lack some spiderbaby content since this chapter is basically focused on Tony and Mary's relationship so yeah!
> 
> I hope you guys liked my update and if you do, comment down below what you think and just scream at me on the comment's section. I love reading your feedbacks and it just makes me laugh all the time!
> 
> And special shoutout to @SpellBoundNova for guessing what's going to happen next!
> 
> I love you guys so much and see you on the next update ♥
> 
> Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.


	6. Rattle

The first few weeks were the hardest for Tony. It was the time when he let everything seep through his very veins and just welcomed the pain like an old friend. He felt every throb in his heart like it was a part of him. He greeted the night and didn't sleep just like the old days. He lost weight since he doesn't have any appetite to eat anything. He lies in their--_his _bed all day because he felt so bone tired even though he didn't really do much in the day.

Every breath of his lungs, every beat of his heart, every rising of the sun and every gleam and twinkling of the moons and stars, Tony ached. The man felt pain like a second skin, lingering in his body like they owned him. He felt like he was suffocating, he felt like his heart is being shattered over and over again, he felt like dying--it was just utterly and helplessly painful, there was nothing else to describe it.

And during the days of becoming undone, it was Pepper, Rhodey and Happy who helped him in one of the darkest moments of his family. Pepper came by every morning, bringing Tony and Peter food that will last them the whole day--Chinese take outs, burgers and fries, and sometimes, when the woman is particularly early, she would try and cook for both the boys. And not only did Pepper offered food but the woman also helped Tony with taking care of Peter when he can't even take care of himself. There were times when Pepper would call in absent on SI just so she could keep an eye on Peter while Tony cries in the bedroom for hours. There were also times when both Pepper and Tony would go to SI together to face problems other than Tony's nightmares.

Rhodey came by every time he was free from work. He would be there to play with Peter, rock him to sleep then go and check on Tony and try to talk to him. And when Tony's demons are louder than usual, he would drink with his best friend just so the billionaire wouldn't down a whole bottle of whiskey by himself. Rhodey was trying his best to be there for Tony just like old times and he was also there to crack some sense on the pain-filled brain of his best friend when needed.

Happy came by everyday. Sitting on the couch, watching Tony like a hawk--making sure that he wasn't doing anything reckless or anything unimaginable. The man would be there, offering his presence to his boss--wanting Tony to know that he's always there, he will always be by his side no matter what. He was there even though Tony tried to shoo him away, shouting words that he didn't mean. But Happy stayed headstrong and still stuck by Tony's side--listening to his boss cry, listening to every vases thrown away, listening to every shout of anger and pain. Happy stayed and took care of Peter whenever Pepper and Rhodey wasn't present. He did his best to show Tony that he wasn't alone.

\--

It was during a Tuesday morning when some sense knocked back on Tony's hard skull. The man was lying down on the large white couch where Mary and him used to watch movies late at night but now, he was laying alone, massaging his temples as he tries to ease the hang-over that he was having. One and a half bottle of whiskey--well, that's got to be a fucking record if he say so himself. But now, he was kind of regretting downing all that alcohol in one night because he has a really bad hang-over right now, that he might puke on himself if he ever stands up.

"Dada?" Tony was whisked away from his thoughts when he heard that sweet, little voice from his kid and found Peter standing beside the couch, holding on the furniture for support.

Peter has been growing up pretty quickly that even though it has only been a month and a half since Tony boxed himself in his emotion and kept Peter away from him, the kid had already progressed in his skills--from few steps at a time to wobbly walking with no use of guides and from coos and babbles to talking endlessly even though they can't really understand much other than Peter's 'dada', 'bye-bye' and an occasional 'mama'. Peter is surely progressing pretty fast compared to other babies his age but Pepper, Happy and Rhodey feels like it is probably because of Peter's blood--the Stark blood that gave the child an early start for everything.

The man quickly opened his eyes and peeked towards the little kid beside him and quickly melted on Peter's brown, chocolate eyes. And as soon as he saw those eyes, he realized how much he have missed the kid. He barely even spend time with Peter these past few weeks. Sure, he sees and hears him whenever he's being taken care of by Rhodey, Pepper or Happy but now to finally hear Peter's voice again, calling for him, Tony couldn't help but smile.

Tony slowly sat up even though his head protested from the hang-over, "What are you doing here, _bambino_?" the man asked as he quickly took Peter in his arms and carried him again after what feels like forever, "Does Pepper know that you left the playroom again?" he asked.

Peter just smiles as he hugged his father tight, "Dada," the kid whispered and even though it was just a simple word, just a simple name, it all but knocked some sense on the man.

With just Peter's simple call, Tony realized the mistakes that he did for the past few weeks--all of his behavior and negligence, passing through his eyes as he see every bit of his shortcomings towards Peter and realized that he's not the only one suffering. But this kid right here, his little _tesoro_, is also going through the same thing. 

"Petey," Tony called, not knowing what to say but it was Peter who surprised his father with what he uttered next.

"Wuv dada," Peter muttered as he cups his father's face with his little hands, pressing a soft, peppery kiss on Tony's cheeks.

And just by such simple gesture, Tony felt a tickle of happiness in his heart, making the billionaire smile. That was the moment Tony realized that Mary is not the only person who gives him his much needed love, his much needed happiness. It wasn't only Mary who matters in his life right now. Because, here, in front of him stood the best thing Tony created. In front of him, stood the kid who held and owned his heart and he'll be damned, more broken, more lost if his kid fades away from his very grasp. Peter loves Tony and Tony loves Peter, so much, so much it hurts--so much that he's scared of Peter leaving him too or even the thought of the kid being distant with him.

"Daddy loves you too, Petey-pie," Tony whispered and saying the words out loud made his heart go into an overdrive as the waterworks started in Tony's eyes. "Dada loves Petey," Tony whispers, his face crumpling, his tears streaming down his face as hugged Peter tighter, "I'm sorry _tesoro_," the man mumbles, his voice drowned in Peter's shoulders as he cries on the kid. "I'm sorry Petey, dad's sorry for abandoning you. I'm sorry for leaving you _too_."

It was one of those moments when Tony felt nothing but the need to have Peter by his side, always. It was one of the moments Tony realized that Peter is one of the people he will die for. It was one of the moments Tony realized that Peter is the most important person in his life, right now, tomorrow, forever. It was one of the moments Tony realized that he will die before anyone takes Peter from him.

"Dada," Peter whispers, hugging his father back.

Pepper stood beside the playroom's door, watching the scene unfold before her and she couldn't help but to feel pity and sadness towards the two boys, her eyes tearing up as she sniffed. But at the back of her head, she wished they let Peter go to his father when the kid wanted no one else but Tony, just so her boss wouldn't have further slipped to his pain and suffering these past few weeks. Because right now, all Pepper can see is Tony's need for Peter--that it took only a word, a call from his child in order for Tony to realize the mistake that he was doing. And right now, Pepper knew that Tony is feeling nothing but full remorse towards his child for also leaving him, for also abandoning him like his mother. But what's important now is Tony's back on his feet and Peter was the one who helped him walk.

\--

By Peter's eleventh month, approaching the twelfth was when everything went back to _almost _normal. Sure, Tony still cries every night and maybe, there were some nights where he couldn't sleep but somehow, some way, he's coping--slowly, but surely and it was all thanks to Peter. Because the moment Peter approached him that Tuesday morning, Tony realized that it wasn't only him who lost someone--yeah, it sucks to lose a wife but to lose a mother at an early age, to grow up without a mother, Tony can't say how that will affect Peter. So the man manned-up, sucking up all the pains and heartaches Mary have left him because he realized that Peter needs him--now more than ever.

"And the cat says meow!" Pepper mutters as she reads the book to Peter, the kid sitting on her lap as they go over the book while they wait for Tony to come home from work, "Now, where's the cat, Petey-poo?" the woman asks, eyeing the three animals displayed on the book--the cat, a cow and a frog.

But since Peter is a genius at his age, the kid pointed at the cat as he smiles cheekily towards his aunt Pepper, knowing full well that he's right, "Babababa." the kid babbles.

Pepper smiled in delight as she nods enthusiastically, "That's right darling!" the woman exclaimed happily, "That's definitely the cat,"

"Moo!" Peter then exclaimed, pointing at the picture of the cow as he mooed happily.

"Wow, good job sweetheart!" Pepper beamed, "I'm pretty sure your dad's very proud of his little Petey-poo, huh?"

And with the mention of Tony, Peter exclaimed loudly, "Dadadda!" getting excited all of a sudden.

The woman chuckles, bopping Peter's nose as she smiles, "Yeah, I know," Pepper answers back even though she didn't really understand what Peter just said, "Now, why don't we go to the kitchen to have some of your favorite broccoli?" the woman asks, eyeing the clock on Peter's playroom that was signifying that it was already time to eat. But apparently, the kid has other plans.

"Babababababa!" Peter exclaimed keeping a tight grip on the book that Pepper was holding, and with just that, the woman _already knew_ what Peter wants.

"Alright, alright," Pepper exclaims, chuckling a little, "We'll continue reading but we need to eat after this book, is that good darling?" the woman asks and Peter just leans closer to Pepper as he relaxes, ready to start listening to Pepper's voice as she continues to read the book again. "The frog says ribit, ribit."

The two spent their time splendidly--reading books, watching cartoons, sleeping and eating together and many more. Peter has surely grown closer to Pepper these past few days up to the point that Peter would cry every time Pepper needs to leave the house at night. And as much as Peter was loving Pepper, the woman was also falling deeper in love with the baby.

It was around 6:00 PM when Tony finally comes home, his eyes dull as he entered the mansion--much like his eyes ever since Mary left their lives. Pepper seems to get used to Tony looking that way but it still hurts her heart the same, because it seems like Tony was nothing but a shell of his old self. The woman never really saw Tony this wrecked, sure, he usually went home drunk and sometimes high before he met Mary but it was nothing like this. Those times were mere boredom, emptiness and just wanting to have fun but now, it's much deeper than that. Tony doesn't even come home drunk but he looks like it--sunken eyes, tiredness all over his face and a look of a walking zombie. And certainly, this isn't even about boredom or emptiness, this was pure pain and agony.

"Tony, you're home early," Pepper muttered, Peter still in her arms as the kid squirms leaning towards Tony, wanting the kid for his father to hold him.

"Dada!" Peter exclaimed, and it was all it took to bring that genuine smile back on Tony's face--the long day and pain in his heart completely forgotten.

Tony smiles as he quickly took Peter in his arms, "Well, it's because I missed my little snuggle-pants!" the man beamed as he raised Peter in the air, making the kid giggle in return, "Did you miss me, huh, _bambino_?" Tony asks as he finally settled Peter on his arms, kissing the kid on his cheeks while Peter just laughs heartily.

"Dada!" Peter beamed and Tony just smiles, planting another kiss on the kid's cheeks.

"Yeah, you probably missed me, huh?" Tony smiles as he turned towards Pepper, "I hope he didn't give you too much mess to deal with."

"Oh no," Pepper exclaims, smiling, "Peter was such a sweetheart the whole time! We actually learned about animals and their sounds."

"Did you, now?" Tony smiles as he turns towards Peter, "Was learning fun, darling?"

"Bababababba!" Peter babbles and both the adults just smile in admiration.

"It sure was," Pepper smiled, "Peter can actually pinpoint which is which now. He knows what a cat is and what the cow says, isn't he brilliant?"

Tony's face turned soft, smiling in pride as he turned towards his little sunshine, "Of course my little Petey-pie is brilliant just like his mama and dada!"

It was a slip of a tongue and Tony never really meant to include Mary in the conversation. He shouldn't even thought of that because Mary already left them and she should never take any credit of how Peter has become now, but it was just so hard. Tony knew that it wasn't only because of his intelligence why Peter is brilliant, he's sure that Mary contributes to that too. And saying those kind of things brought back the pain in his heart, knowing that Peter will never know that his brilliance and intelligence was not only because of Tony but also because of his brilliant mother that he will never grow up with.

"Mama?" Peter asks when he heard the name 'mama', craning his head side-wards as he gave a curious look on Tony, "Mama?" the kid asks again.

There was a beat, an utter silence and Tony was afraid to break the ice, afraid of breaking down in front of his child and Pepper because even though he's better now, it still hurts. But thank goodness for the red-head in the room for being the courageous one to speak.

"Uhm, you're probably hungry." Pepper mumbles after a minute of pregnant silence, "Should I order some Chinese take-out for dinner?" the woman asks, trying hard to make the situation lighter.

Tony clears his throat as he nods, "Yeah, Chinese take-out." the man answers back as he placed Peter down and letting the kid wander on his own, afraid that his strength might leave him and accidentally drop the kid.

"Oh, and Roberta called in this morning. She was asking about the status of Peter's birthday preparation." Pepper muttered, reminding the billionaire of Peter's upcoming first birthday and at the same time, diverting his thoughts away from Mary and the pain.

Tony just chuckles, "Tell her not to worry about it." he answers back as he finally sat on the white couch, watching Peter while the kid started playing with his toys in the middle of the living room.

"She's just excited." Pepper mutters, smiling on her own as she grabbed the telephone on the counter, "It's not everyday when her first grandson turns one."

Tony just smiles, feeling his heart swell in delight just by watching Peter in front of him, "Yeah, it's probably not everyday," Tony whispers, more so to himself, "The kid's growing too fast, Pep. I can't believe he'll be a year old next month! It's crazy," the man mused, his emotions going haywire as he tries to catch up with everything--because the past few days and weeks has been a roller coaster ride and now, he's in for another loop with Peter's first birthday.

"Kids always tend to grow up so fast, Tony," Pepper answers back, "But turning one is really a milestone that should be celebrated so I hope you're doing well with all the preparations. Remind me again why you didn't want me to prepare it on your behalf?" Pepper asked, earning a smile from Tony.

"As much as I know how good you are at your job, I just want to prepare everything on my own for Peter. This is his first birthday, I want to be part of it in every way." Tony answers back and all Pepper did was chuckle as she finally rang the Chinese restaurant to order their dinner.

"You're growing too fast, kiddo!" Tony exclaimed as he watches Peter play with some of his toys. "One minute you were screaming your lungs out whenever I change your diaper then now, in just a few weeks, you're finally going to be a year old!" Tony exclaimed, watching Peter ignore him while the kid was getting absorbed on stacking the rings in correct order. 

"Babababa!" Peter babbles as he turned towards his father, showing what he did on his toy.

Tony just smiles as he messed the kid's hair, "Good job buddy, you finally stacked it on the right order," the man mutters. "You've been working on that for the past days and now, you finally got it!" Tony exclaimed, smiling widely towards the kid. But the smile suddenly faded from his face as he remembered someone, "Your mom would've been so proud." Tony whispers unknowingly, not aware of what he just said but once the words left his mouth, the familiar ache enveloped him again like a snake--knocking the wind out of him as he sighs. All these things that's happening was too much for Tony and now, his emotions are just all over the place, "She would've wanted to be with you on your first birthday, _bambino_," Tony muttered, the happiness and the small ray of sunshine suddenly vanishing and turning into sadness and storm.

"Bababababba," Peter babbles in return, his father's emotions completely unheeded.

"Do you think your mom would come if I invite her?" Tony asks Peter.

\--

Tony did invite Mary on Peter's birthday. The man reached out every way he can--messages, e-mails, mails, calls, voicemails--he did everything he could to get a hold of Mary and the only assurance that Mary read or heard his messages is thru the mailing company that told him that Mary did, in fact received his messages. So right now, the man couldn't understand why Mary never arrived during the party to at least give Peter a gift, or even say her last goodbye to her son.

"She's not coming anymore Tony," Pepper muttered, probably getting tired of Tony checking the door every minute.

They were sprawled on the living room's floor, opening all of Peter's gifts that Tony mostly got for his kid, the others were gift from the selected people whom he invited namely Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, Obadiah and Rhodey's mother, Roberta. It was already night time and everyone else decided to stay the night besides from Obadiah and Roberta.

Tony chuckled humorlessly as he looked down, embarrassed that Pepper knew who he was waiting for because the woman just knows her boss that much, "I... I know Pep," Tony answered back, shaking his head.

"Mary left, Tony and I'm sorry if I sound blunt but I don't think she'll come back anytime soon." Pepper informed him.

And as much as Tony hated how honest Pepper Potts is--Tony knew that fact, he knew that more than anyone else and he doesn't even know what had gotten into his mind to call and invite the woman who left him and Peter. Mary left--it was her decision and there was nothing that will ever bring her back into their life anymore--not even her son, not even Peter.

"I just wanted Peter to know that his mom was there when he turned one." Tony sighs as he eyed the little ball of sunshine in front of him--Peter was playing with the new toys that he got, completely oblivious with what's happening around him, "You told me that turning one is a milestone and I want to show Peter that Mary loved him enough to set aside whatever issue she had and come to his birthday party even though he doesn't remember it."

Pepper sighs, defeated, "When Peter grows up, I'm pretty sure that your love will be enough to sustain him--it might even be overflowing." the woman mutters, "I've seen you these past few months Tony. I've seen the love you've poured for your family and I'm positive that Peter will bathe in love because of you. Mary left, you're alone now but you can make this work, Tony. We'll be here, you know? Me, Happy and Rhodey, we'll be here for you and Peter."

Tony smiles genuinely, feeling the overwhelming support that he was getting, "Thanks Pep, I needed to hear that."

Pepper just smiles back at him, offering him a little comfort that Tony was glad to receive.

"Here's the popcorn and we're very ready for a good-ass movie!" Rhodey exclaimed, holding a freshly popped bowl of popcorn, getting rid of the awkward atmosphere that was lingering in the air.

"I'll choose the movie!" Happy blurted out, following suit behind Rhodey.

Pepper snorted, shaking her head, "Well, I don't think I'll be up for that because as far as I know, your movie selection is not my cup of tea."

"I second the motion!" Rhodey muttered.

"Bababababa!"

"Even Peter seconds the motion,"

The three of them bickered and all Tony could feel as of the moment was a sliver of contentment. The man felt like he could work with this. Mary might have left but he still have these awesome people left. He'll be able to do everything if these three people stayed--as long as Rhodey, Happy and Pepper is here with him, he'll make do. Family be damned but this is the meaning of family for him right now--him, Happy, Rhodey, Pepper and Peter.

\--

"Oh my goodness, you two!" Pepper shrieked as soon as she arrived inside the kitchen, completely baffled by the two people--_kids_, greeting her, "What happened here, Tony?!"

"Pepper!" Peter beamed, the name completely rolling off his tongue naturally.

"Oh hey!" Tony exclaimed cheekily, putting Peter down his high chair as he dusts off his flour-filled hands and turned back towards Pepper, "I didn't know you'll be coming today? I thought you're on vacation?" the man asks, wiping his hands with the kitchen towel on his side.

  
"And it seems like going on vacation was a mistake. Look what you two have done!" Pepper exclaimed, placing her bag on top of the stool and then helping Tony clean up, "What are you even doing?" the woman asks as she tries to clean up the flour all around the counter top.

"Pepper mad?" Peter asks, his chubby fingers pointing towards his aunt Pepper.

Pepper just smiles back as she took Peter's bib and wiped the kid's face, "I'm not mad at you, Peter."

"Dada?" Peter asks and Pepper just smiles cheekily as she bopped the kid's nose, making Peter giggle.

"Kind of, yeah," Pepper shrugs, "Your dad made a mess."

"In my defense, it was all Peter who did it." Tony butted in, "He wanted to make a cake for Happy because the kid found out that he'll celebrate his birthday tomorrow."

"Birthday!" Peter muttered back, smiling, "Cake Happy!"

Pepper sighs, getting defeated by Peter's beaming smile that she might put a hold on scolding Tony, "Is that right, Petey-pie?" the woman asks and Peter nods eagerly.

"Happy good!" Peter exclaimed, "Peter make Happy happy."

"See?" Tony beamed, "The kid wanted to make Happy _happy_!"

Pepper just rolled his eyes at Tony's pun--not being able to stand the older Stark but completely melting on the younger one, "Fine, then why don't we do it together. But now, for real!" Pepper offered towards Peter, making the kid smile, "I'm pretty sure all your dad had done is to mess up all the flour and play with your face, that's why you have a white goatee on, huh munchkin?"

Peter just giggles as he nods, slamming his hands on top of his table, seemingly excited again.

"Hey, Peter looks good with the goatee, you got to admit that." Tony muttered, smiling mischievously at Pepper, "Isn't that right, kiddo? Tell Aunt Pep how good you look just like dada!"

Peter nods at Tony, smiling, "Peter handsome!" the kid beamed, turning towards Pepper and showing the woman his signature Stark-smile.

Pepper just chuckles, "Yeah you're handsome but I think you're cute too, kiddo!" the woman exclaimed, pinching Peter's nose playfully.

Last year had been a complete roller-coaster ride for everyone. It was the time when everything was just too much for Tony--Peter turned one and he felt like his kid was growing up too fast, the paparazzi found out that he and Mary split up and those people were on their necks for months and they can barely even go out during those times. Tony never really saw Mary again and the man didn't really have the heart to divorce his wife because at the back of his head, he was still praying, hoping that Mary's going to come back and he'll be there with _open arms_.

But now that Peter's two years old and they have moved on _pretty much_ from everything, Tony can definitely say that he's at the point of his life where the only thing that's making him stress is Peter. Terrible twos--that's what they call it and apparently, Peter wasn't much of a difference from other kids. Sure, Peter's a sweet kid--all smiling, beaming, and over-all such a great child--but the kid's got a temper that he probably got from Tony. When the kid's not in the mood or when his mood is spoiled, the kid would throw a hell of a tantrum. Peter would bawl his eyes out, screaming so loud that Tony could barely hear JARVIS speaking in the background. The only thing that gets Peter to stop shouting and kicking and crying is when Tony uses his dad voice--disciplining his kid not to be the spoiled brat that Tony was. Peter would then taper his shouts into cries--sounds that tear Tony's heart apart but he also knew that his kid needed it to grow up. And after some scolding and discipline, Tony would cuddle with Peter and show the kid that even though he was angry, he still loves Peter.

As Peter grows up everyday, Tony could see every trace of him and of course, every trace of Mary. The kid's got the lively personality from Mary--the bouncing up and down, the excitement, the beaming smiles, the heart to give to everyone. And then there's Peter's side of him--Tony saw his resemblance with Peter. It was evident in Peter's eyes--those dark chocolate, doe-like eyes, the gorgeous curly hair and possibly, the kid's brilliance and intelligence--which, he's pretty sure that he can't take all the credit. And it was when Peter would exude great intelligence when he would badly miss Mary--because he knew that that wasn't just him--Peter's brilliance is both Mary's and his.  
  


After all the baking and all that shenanigans, Tony was pretty much passed out on the couch after such a very hard task even though all he did was measure the ingredients and leave all the mixing and all that jazz to Pepper. And now, the woman's still at the kitchen, tidying things up while Tony and Peter relocated to the living room to rest.

"Tony, when I'm done here, I'm expecting Peter to be clean." Pepper shouted from the kitchen and all Tony could do was sigh.

For the past few months, this has become a norm--you know, Pepper bossing him around when it comes to Peter because they all know that she's the only responsible adult in the house. And Tony completely trusts her judgement when it comes to the kid.

"Come on now, darling," Tony muttered as he unwillingly got up from the sofa, "We don't want aunt Pepper to get mad, huh? She looks like a steaming kettle when she's angry, do you agree?" Tony asks as he sat in front of Peter who was now playing with his LEGOs, his face still covered with tons of flour.

"Pepper mad?" Peter asks, his chocolate-brown eyes boring into Tony's.

"She's not but she will be if we don't get that flour off your face." the man explains, "Come on, let's get you to your room and clean you up. Then we'll watch some movie that you like while we wait for Uncle Rhodey, sounds like a plan?" Tony asks the young Stark and Peter just nods excitedly.

"Clean Peter!" Peter exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air as the kid stood up.

The kid started running away from his father as soon as he was on his feet, going straight to the stairs and used the guides to go up to his room. Tony was quick to tail his child, afraid that Peter might slip and fall down the stairs and that's a horror that he wouldn't want to see, like ever.

"Peter! Wait for me!" Tony exclaimed as he quickly scooped the child before Peter could even set foot on the second step, "You shouldn't run like that kiddo!" the man reprimanded, his voice still calm, not wanting to scare Peter with his dad voice. "You could've slipped and hurt your head. You'll have an owie, _bambino _and we don't want that."

Peter just looks down as he clung to Tony's neck with his two arms, "Sorry daddy," the kid whispers, "Big boy Peter." the kid added, reasoning out that he's already a big bot and his father just sighs, smiling softly towards his kid.

"Big boy?" Tony asks, "Are you, now?"

"Uh huh," Peter nods as they ascended up the stairs, "Peter two!" the kid beamed, showing his two fingers to Tony, making a point.

"Oh yeah, you are," Tony answers back, just riding on what Peter's saying, "You sure are a big boy now."

Tony quickly put Peter down as soon as they reached the kid's room. Peter ran towards his drawer, opening it as he grabbed the very first shirt he saw. Tony stared at his kid, baffled to see his child already dressing up on his own without any help from his father.

"Dada help!" Peter shouted, seemingly stuck in his own shirt and all Tony could do was chuckle.

"I thought you already got it for a second since you're a big boy now." the man mutters as he slowly took the shirt off of Peter's head and used the shirt to wipe the flour from Peter's face.

"I am," Peter answers back, nodding, "Big boy Peter!"

\--

There were times when everything was just going well and great and there were times when Tony would be knocked over by his emotions and his overwhelming need to see Mary again. It's safe to say that Tony still loved Mary and he feels like he will never love the same way again. Whenever he would remember the woman, he would just stare off the space and think about what went wrong and well, today's one of those days.

The billionaire was sitting on the couch in the living room, opening a bottle of whiskey to get rid of his thoughts. He has been debating with himself whether or not he should drink alcohol again while Peter's with him. But of course, his need for alcohol reigned in his head, promising that he will stop after one shot--which is always a lie. 

Pepper was upstairs, taking Peter to sleep and he was overly grateful towards the woman because if she wasn't here, Tony would've drowned in his emotions whilst taking care of Peter. And he's pretty sure that that will never go well together.

The man was thinking about so many things--Mary, Richard Parker, the broken promises, Peter's future without his mother... just, everything and he was spiraling further and further into his own head.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice his child sneaking up on him, "Sad dada?" Peter asks, looking at the bottle of alcohol on the table and the glass on Tony's hand.

Tony was startled and he quickly placed the glass back on the table, picking Peter up in a heartbeat, "What are you doing here, kiddo?" Tony asks, surprised to see his kid in front of him instead of asleep, "You should be asleep already."

"Dada sleep too." Peter mutters, "Night night, sleep."

Tony chuckles, shaking his head. The kid always remembers what he says huh? "Right," Tony sighs, smiling, "Night night means sleeping time, I said that didn't I?"

"Uh huh," Peter nods.

"I'll be coming up and sleep after I do my work." Tony lies, "So why don't you go to aunt Pepper and let her read you stories as you drift to La la land."

"Okay," Peter answers back as he jumped from Tony's lap to stand, completely unaware of the lie that his father just spoke.

"Darling?" Pepper calls. The woman emerged from the kitchen, her hand holding a cup of milk.

"Pepper," Tony called while Peter quickly ran towards his aunt Pepper.

The woman eyes the bottle of whiskey on top of the table and all she could do was shake her head in disappointment and clearly knowing that scolding Tony about it is never really her place to intrude, "I told you to follow me, kiddo," Pepper muttered towards Peter, taking the kid into her arms, "Your daddy's quiet... busy," Pepper mumbles, her voice defeated. Tony just looks down, embarrassed with himself. "Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed while your dad finish his work."

The woman didn't spare anymore glances towards Tony as she left with Peter in her arms and somehow, such simple action felt like being slapped hard in the face. It felt like a wake-up call but the man just finds it so hard to drown all the thoughts in his head and the only cure to that was the bottle of whiskey in front of him. The man knew that he shouldn't do this anymore or at least drink while Peter's in here to see. But well, it was hard and he's pretty much famous for being irresponsible--he was just taking on the name that he acclaimed.

The man was sure that he was dissociating again from his reality. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't realize that Peter was back, Pepper in tow.

"Dada?" Peter asks as the kid reaches up, wanting to be held.

Tony stared at his kid, surprised that Peter was still awake, "I thought--"

"The kid didn't want to sleep until he gives you something," Pepper answers for Peter. She was standing on the foot of the stairs, watching the father and son duo from afar.

Tony just stares at Pepper and then crouching down towards his son, "What do you want to give me, _tesoro_?" Tony asks, pulling the kid up on his lap.

"Dada sad," Peter mutters, his statement firm, "Peter happy toy." the kid explains but still quiet hard to understand with the kid's broken sentences.

Tony then finally saw what his child was holding--Peter's favorite rattle. It was the rattle that the kid loved ever since he was a baby and he never really outgrew it. Sure, he plays with large LEGO's, stacking blocks and stuffed toys but Peter still loves that oh-so boring rattle that Tony was never really a fan of. But the older Stark never really had the heart to throw it away or even hide it.

"Peter thinks that you're sad and he wanted to give you the toy that makes him happy," Pepper explains, now very much expert in understanding Peter's short words. "He thinks that you'll be happy too when he gives you that."

Tony didn't know how to feel or even know what to say. Because he felt completely and utterly ashamed to even think of drowning himself with alcohol when Peter was there with him, relying on him. 

Tony lets out a shocked sigh, completely moved by Peter's train of thought and almost reluctantly accepting the toy that was being offered to him, "T-thanks bambino," Tony mutters, his voice so little, it seems like he was whispering.

"Don't sad dada," Peter mumbles, "Dada happy."

The knowing pain that seems to envelope his heart every now and then slowly diminishing as he stares at his kid, feeling the unadulterated and just pure love from Peter, "Dada's happy, Peter." Tony mumbles, "Daddy's always happy because of you, darling."

Peter smiles in contentment as he nods, "Wuv you, dada,"

"I love you too, Petey-pie,"

"Sleep with Peter?" the kid asks, his doe-like eyes working its magic.

Tony smiles as he nods, completely forgetting about the bottle of alcohol in front of him, "I'll sleep with my Petey-poo, sure," Tony answers back as he stood up, making his way upstairs but not before sparing a smile towards Pepper, whispering, "Thanks,"

Pepper just smiles back, nodding, completely happy about how everything turned out. The woman then decided to leave as soon as Tony started ascending up the stairs because at least, she's off work pretty early today.

"Good night," she whispers before leaving for the door.  
  


"_Brilla brilla una stellina. Ora tu sei più vicina_." Tony sang, caressing Peter's head as he watches the kid sleep--he noted every breath Peter took, he watched the fluttering of Peter's eyes, stared at the lashes that lay on top of his child's rosy cheeks and then places a gentle kiss on top of his baby's forehead, "I love you, tesoro," Tony whispered, "I'll love you for the rest of your life and for the rest of mine. I'll love you always,"

\--

When Anthony Edward Stark was a little kid, all he wanted was to be loved--by his father, by his mother, by everyone around him. The man sought attention all the days of his life and when he finally received it, it was yanked away from him faster than he could even blink.

Mary Fitzpatrick-Stark, or maybe, only Mary Fitzpatrick now--he doesn't really know, doesn't really care.

The woman who showed him love was the same woman who tore his heart into pieces, the woman who brought him sunshine and rainbows was the same woman who brought storm into his life--larger than the ones he used to have, the woman who gave him all the things he was asking God for was the same woman who made him plead God to end his suffering, to end the pain that was clawing in his heart everyday--so raw and so tender.

It was kind of mocking, really. It was so sardonic and ironic that the same woman who defined love to him, the woman who gave him all the love that he wanted was the same woman who defined pain and hate for him.

It was completely laughable to think that when he finally accepted his lonely fate of having one-night stands everyday and numerous bar-hopping was also the time when the lie of love came to him. It was utterly sarcastic when he was finally settling on his new-found life was also the same time when his wife decided to leave him hanging on the air, leaving his heart and Peter by himself. It was completely wry that when he's finally back on his feet and ready to move on from his heartbreak, it is also the same time fate decided to fuck with his life once again.

Love.

It was so powerful and so mighty that it can either build you up or tear you down.

And right now, Tony wished he never learned how to love. He wished Mary never came into his life--never barged into his life like a thief, stealing his heart and running away with it. He wished he never knew what it felt to love or be loved. He wished he just stayed in the shadows and let the emptiness swallow him instead of being eaten and chewed by the pain everyday.

Tony wished he just never felt. He wished he would just be numb and not feel anything just so he could spare the pain that he was feeling right now.

Tony wished he never loved Mary or even the kid who was born to them. Because somehow, for the first time, 5 years after Peter was born, Tony wished his baby, his little ball of sunshine, his little Peter was never born.

Tony wished Peter never existed at all if it means that his kid will never suffer this cruel world and the twisted games of fate.

Having Peter was the most wonderful and beautiful thing that ever happened to Tony but at the same time, Peter is also the most painful, the most heart-wrenching thing that ever happened to him.  
  


Pepper's voice filtered through Tony's mind, his dissociation coming to an end as he watch the mouth of Doctor Miller move. _Was the doctor speaking English?_ Because if she is, then why can't Tony understand what she's saying? Why can't he understand any thing from what the woman was spewing?

"I'm sorry Mr. Stark," the doctor offered, looking down sadly as she sighs, "There are still many things that we could do. There are treatments available..." the woman continued talking but her voice was muted yet again. Tony doesn't know if the woman was playing with him or his brain is just misfiring and decided not to hear any of the bullshits this doctor is saying.

Peter has always been a small baby ever since he was born--the kid's premature for goodness sake, mechanical ventilator helping him breathe and numerous IVs and wires connected to the small baby's fragile body. But when the kid got through that phase of his life, Peter never really got sick anymore. There were times when Peter would have a cold and a cough but never really that bad. The worst Peter got was when he came down with a fever when he was three years old after a very cold winter week but other than that, Peter was pretty much a healthy kid.

So right now, Tony couldn't comprehend what the doctor was saying to him right now, "You don't understand," the man muttered, "Peter was very much okay last week! Hell, he even had a great party yesterday!" Tony was screaming now, his heart hammering against his chest as he comprehends whatever the doctor was saying.

"Tony," Pepper muttered, attempting to calm his boss.

"No Pep," Tony hissed, "This woman is lying! Peter... Peter can't have _cancer_," the billionaire exclaimed, his voice wavering as he finally said the last word because... that can't be right. "Peter is a healthy kid! You've seen that Pep, right?! You've seen how Peter would jump up and down on my bed trying to wake me, you've seen him run so fast we couldn't even catch him. For goodness' sake, the kid just literally gave me a heart attack the other day for climbing up the tree in our garden!" Tony was now hysterical, not wanting to accept the reality, not wanting to accept another nightmare, "Peter is not sick! He was rarely even sick before, sure, he was premature but that was about it!" Tony argued, "If Peter was sick... If he was sick, I could've known. I could've seen it..."

"Mr. Stark, I understand where you're coming from but we've done all the test and it was positive," Doctor Miller explained, "Leukemia." the woman added, sighing yet again as she feels her heart break over again to deliver such bad news to another family, "We talked to Peter and he told us that he has been feeling sore on his back, now tell me, Mr. Stark, have you seen any behavioral shift from Peter lately?"

Tony didn't answer because he actually did see some signs but never thought it was anything important. Peter would lose his appetite every now and then, not wanting to finish the food that he usually loves to eat. The kid told him one night that he has a stomachache and Tony just associated it with Peter over-eating their chocolate after dinner. The kid has been sick last week, running a fever that doesn't seem to go down no matter how many fever-reducers they have given him. And who would have forgotten the nightmare on Saturday last week, waking up to Peter crying and telling Tony that his chest was aching and he couldn't breathe properly.

"He's... he's been a little different lately, yeah," Pepper answers for him, "He was losing his appetite every now and then, he was sick last week and he's just been really on and off with his energy."

"Yes, those are symptoms of leukemia in children and we have confirmed that too with the tests and I'm really sorry for the sudden news," Doctor Miller muttered, trying hard to offer some comfort to the two adults in front of her, "But the good news is, we can still do something to help Peter. There's still a chance that he could survive this. We can..."

Tony tuned out his ears again, refusing to listen anymore and just let Pepper do all the listening and all the talking. Because he can't... won't accept this.

Was it really a good news? Was that the only good news that they can offer him? Is chance a really good thing or was it just to mock Tony over and over again? Because isn't it ironic to think that Peter has only a _chance _in life when he could have a long life that he was supposed to have? That chance is nothing because surviving is the only thing Tony wants to accept right now and even that seems out of the equation. Because surviving means suffering while living and that's one thing Tony wouldn't want Peter to have.

All Peter deserves is life--just pure life, nothing less. Peter doesn't need to survive because he should be just living, alive.

It can't be Peter.

Not _my _Peter.  
  


"Tony,"

He was brought back to reality when he felt the comforting hand of Pepper caress his back. And then he realized that they were back outside, Pepper probably guided him out of Doctor Miller's clinic.

"Tony, are you okay?" Pepper asks, cupping Tony's cheeks and trying to catch the man's doe-like eyes in order to ground him.

"Uh," Tony mumbles absentmindedly, not knowing what to do, "You guys should go ahead to the car with Peter, I... I need to call someone." the man mutters.

"Tony, I can't leave you in your state," Pepper argued but Tony just shook his head, looking everywhere but Pepper's blue eyes.

"No, just go, I'll be following you guys in a minute." the man mumbles, "I just... I really need to make a call, just... just five minutes then I'll be back."

Pepper sighs reluctantly as she finally nods, "Five minutes and I'll have Happy find you if you're not back yet."

Tony just nods as he left and as soon as he knew he was out of Pepper's scrutinizing gaze, he couldn't help but to let the tears stream down his cheeks. The tears blurring his sight as he tries to continue walking but failed as his legs gave out under him. The man finally sobs, letting the agonizing sadness ride him in waves.

He leaned against the wall that was plastered with sailor-themed wallpapers, both pink and blue. It was beautiful to look at but through his blurry eyes and broken heart, the man couldn't seem to see any goodness in the world right now. Because the person that was his world was threatening to vanish, to fade.

Tony thought he knew what pain felt like when Mary left him and Peter, but right now, the pain was unbearable, much more raw, much more painful, much more suffocating. And the man suddenly asks himself, _if this is all over, will I be able to live? Will Peter and I survive?_

Tony sobs, his heart constricting in pain as he cried. All the happiness that he felt from the past suddenly playing behind his eyes and somehow he asked, _was this the price of giving me the happiness that I seek, God? Was this the price of answering my prayers and showing me what it feels to be happy, to be loved? _Tony asks as he shut his eyes hard, his hands curling into a fist as his nails dug into his palms, creating crescent-shaped indents that started to bleed. _Take it_, Tony thought, his body wracking in sobs as he cries. _Take all the happiness you have given me, all the money you've given me. Take all the good things you gave to me but God, don't ever, ever take my child. Please, God, please don't take my son._


	7. A broken promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEYY! I'M BACCCCK!

So hey, I`m finally back!

I sincerely apologize for not updating during Christmas like I was supposed to since I was really busy with all my makeup clients and I was just lost in all the fun and festivities.  
I wasn`t able to update during the New Year too since I was busy with reviewing (I still am) for my exams.

But right now, I`m finally able to lay down the plot for the second book and I`m actually currently writing the first chapter right now.  
I would PROBABLY update this week if I`m able to finish it but I have no promises! But I will still try my best to really finish the first chapter and update by the end of this week.

But I also want to give you guys a heads-up that I will not update regularly because I am still studying and all that.  
This won`t be like the first book where I was able to update for almost every week.  
This time around, I will still update but the timeline of when I will update is still not clear.

So yeah, I guess that`s that!

I hope that you guys will continue to support me on the second book and continue screaming at me at the comments section! I love reading all your comments, it makes my day!

So I guess I also owe you guys at least a glimpse on the new story so here it is!

> **A broken promise**
> 
> _5 times Tony had been there for Peter throughout all the pain and crying and one time he wasn't._
> 
> _\--_
> 
> _Where Tony takes care of his sick little toddler--going with the kid to the hospital for treatments, chemotherapy and just even cuddling together in their mansion in Malibu._   
_And where Tony tries and tries to be strong for his little one but it just takes one more bump in the road before he loses all his shit together._

That`s that, I guess! Tell me what you think and what your guess as to what will happen throughout the story on the comments section.  
You can also scream at me at my (newly made) Tumblr account at hanjihyun-ao3 (https://hanjihyun-ao3.tumblr.com/)

That`s everything, thank you guys and see you on the second book!

Lots of love, Han Jihyun ♥


End file.
